Turbulent
by ser1112
Summary: When Theo Eaton starts her Dauntless initiation, she thought it would be easy because of her natural skill. But when fear simulations begin, Theo finds out that she might be a bigger threat to the society than anyone ever imagined. Forced to hide herself from the speculation of the Erudite, she discovers the secrets her parents have been hiding from her for 16 years.
1. Chapter 1

Blood is a weird color. I remember my mom would always tell me that. It's indescribable. A dark red mixed with a hint of black. But, it's different when it's oozing out of a wound then when you prick your finger. I was used to both.

And when my own dropped into the flaming embers of the Dauntless bowl, I noticed that it was, oddly enough, a beautiful color. Of course it sounds a little creepy, but during that moment, everything sounded positive in my head. Not even my painless wound could bring down my mood. I am brave. I am Dauntless.

* * *

"You're telling me we need to jump off?!"

A Candor. Of course it was a Candor. The shock in his voice. I couldn't help but snort as I sat down against the wall of the train. The wind whistled in my ear as I looked up at the transfers. The boy who spoke had dark brown eyes and shaggy dirty blonde hair. He looked down at me in his expression changed from one of anguish to one of shock as his gaze met mine. And I knew why.

I am extremely attractive.

Maybe it was my mom's striking features. Or maybe my dad's beautiful eyes. But, according to Christina and practically everyone else, they made one hell of a kid. And I wasn't a modest person. I wasn't the girl who complained that she wasn't pretty. I wasn't the girl who yearned for a boy to tell her she's beautiful. Apparently that's what my mom was like and that's how she won over my dad. I'm not much like my mom, except for my drive and passion for what I do. I'm more like my dad in fact. But I'm not a carbon copy of either of them.

"You're not a transfer," He said, still standing. The wind was going to knock him on his ass any second.

I watched as the other transfers stayed close to him. Most were Candor, clad in white button ups and black slacks. There were a few Erudite as well. Then I realized something: not only were there no Abnegation transfers, there were only three girls. Two were from Amity, wearing red and yellow. They were practically spraying me with peace and weakness.

The other was an Erudite, with a short black bob and ice-blue eyes. She wasn't attractive at all. Her nose was huge and her small eyes made her look like a mouse.

"Yeah, guess not," I said, pulling one knee to my chest and cocking my head to the side.

I saw the side of his lips quirk up in a smile. He was cute, but cute. Not handsome. Pretty scrawny, actually. It seemed he would get eaten alive at the Dauntless compound. "What are you doing hanging around transfers?" He asked, again.

I flicked a switch in the heel of my black, lace up boots and a blade popped out. Custom made creation by Christina. I grabbed the slick black handle and ran the knife between my fingers. They all watched me intently.

"Amusement," I rolled the word off my tongue. I couldn't help but smile at the transfers confused faces. I looked out the opening in the train and saw the approaching curve ahead. I counted down in my head.

One. A red-headed Amity girl twirled a lock around her finger.

Two. A dark-haired Erudite boy stared at me.

Three. A huge gust of wind knocked every person down like dominos. I would have heard the slams and groans if the wind wasn't so loud.

In a sense, it was peaceful. Letting the wind whip through my long brown hair. Feeling it cool my skin. But now, it was tedious.

We were almost there, and I saw the sunset in the distance as looked out of the train. The wind wasn't as strong now, so I got up and dusted myself off. The blade remained in my hands as I grabbed the handle of the train and leaned half my body out. I saw the platform. Well, the concrete roof of the building we had to jump on. Behind me, the transfers were making their way up and next to me. The Candor boy stood a little too close to me and I felt a tad bit uncomfortable.

"Don't worry," I yell over the loud cries of air surrounding me. Six or so transfers stood within hearing distance of me. The platform came closer with every pounding beat of my heart. My blood was laced with adrenaline. I'm not a junkie, though. That's a common misconception about Dauntless. "There's normally only one person who doesn't make the jump," I grin as the faces surrounding me become plastered with horror. "Don't be that one person," and with those words, I leap off the train and feel the moment of weightlessness as I travel into the air, cutting it in half.

I loosen my knees and roll onto the concrete, as if I did it tons of times before.

Which I did. My dad would always take me on the train and have me practice jumping. The first time I broke my wrist and I swear my mother almost killed him. Not that she could, he was twice her size. And even if the they did, it would eventually turn into a make out session on our kitchen floor. My mom was only 16 when she had me and that still makes her young. And I swear her and my dad acted like teenagers all the time. But once it was Dauntless-leader time, they were so serious, I sometimes forgot they were my parents.

Lynn stood at the edge of the roof and smiled at me. The other Dauntless-born were near the back of the train, awaiting it to pass the roof. The transfers behind me were groaning in pain and then I heard a cry. More of a wail. Someone didn't make it. It was inevitable though. I felt a feeling of disgust in my stomach. I wanted to turn around and see who it was, but I forced myself to walk towards Lynn, knowing if I did, I could vomit at the sight of a corpse, limbs at awkward angles and blood pooling around it.

"How did I know you would jump first?" Lynn admonishes, crossings her hands across her chest.I smiled and shrugged. "Lucky guess,"

I placed my blade back into my boot and waited to be joined by the other initiates. I was surrounded by Dauntless born, who all remained quiet while Lynn gave the lecture on jumping into the compound. My eyes wandered to the transfers, trying to pick out the person who didn't make it. There was one less red shirt in the crowd. There was only the red-headed Amity girl, cheeks red and eyes puffy. Every now and then, she would wipe a tear away from her now emotionless face.

And for once, I felt sorry for her. I was taken out of my reverie when a warm hand pressed against the small of my back. I looked to my right and saw his familiar face.

Olive skin, chocolate-brown eyes, and deep ebony hair.

Joseph.

I smiled up at him. He always seems to comfort me when the timing was right. He knew in the way my body language was that I was upset. He was like my brother. He was actually a fousin, Christina and Will's son. I grew up with him. Went with him to get his first tattoo. He was always there for me.

"Who's going to jump first?!" I turned my attention to Lynn. We moved to make way for the transfers, but none of them moved. The Candor boy shook some hair out his eyes and looked up at the clear, blue sky. The Amity girl remained motionless, as if frozen. It's been a few moments and no ones even made an effort to step forwards.

"I hope you transfers know what Dauntless is," She growled, clearly annoyed. Joseph's hand remained on my back as another few minutes went by.

"Theo!" Lynn called out my name so loud, some of the transfers flinched at the sound. I stepped forward silently, leaving my back bare from where Joseph's hand was. My boots tapped against the concrete. My heart was pounding in my ears. A breeze lifted the hair that was sticking to my neck.

"Show them how it's done," She said, loud enough for the cowardly transfers to hear. I raised my eyebrows in surprise.

A Dauntless born never jumps first. It's highly unusual. I believe it's only happened once before, two years ago. But, I suppose I have to.

I shrugged off my black leather jacket and tossed it toward Lily, one of my best friends. She caught it and smiled. She shook her head in disbelief and her long black hair waved behind her.

I stood in a tight, strapless black shirt, black skinny jeans and my custom boots. Joseph and a couple of his friends whistled. I walked towards the edge of the roof and looked down. The hole probably looked menacing to anyone else, but to me, it was like a door. And jumping was opening it. The hole was close enough to the building I was on, that just falling would still ensure my safety. I even surprised myself when I turned around, facing my fellow initiates. They looked at me in shock and awe.

I held my breath and fell backwards into weightlessness.


	2. Chapter 2

**Some ideas are mind. Those that are are not belong to Veronica Roth.**

* * *

The net wrapped me up in itself like a present. I started to breathe again. I silently thank myself for deciding to put the clear straps of my top on. If I didn't, there would be a good chance I would be naked right now.

"Just like two years ago," I heard a female voice say. It was probably Nicole, the trainer of the Dauntless-born. Her voice had a solemn sound to it.

I grabbed the hand closest to me and it helped me out of the net. When I settled my feet, I looked up. I was greeted by stunning, emerald green eyes. They were like jewels placed in the irises of the boy in front of me. He looked down at me smiled a warm smile. The light from above caused his golden blonde hair to glint.

"Guess we don't need an announcement this year," A voice said behind him. I looked past him and saw none other than Xander, the infamous son of Zeke and Shauna. He was only two years older then me and when he saw me, a wide grin broke his face in two.

"Theo!" He called, waltzing towards me and sweeping me into a huge bear hug. He looked exactly like Zeke, but always had his own personality. That's what made him well known in Dauntless. That and the fact that he is one hell of a partier. Everyone seemed stunned by his unusual gesture.

But once they got a good look at me, they all understood. Even Mr. Good-looking who helped me out of the net. The weird thing was, I never saw this boy before. He must have been an initiate from Dauntless last year because he didn't look much older than me.

I felt his eyes burn into my back as I heard my name called. I spun around to see Uriah, walking from the entrance to the pit. He had a small smile, but not a full blown grin. Mel looked so much like him, it wasn't even funny. She was just as attractive as he was, except her eyes were more of a gold. I wonder when she's going to jump into the net. I heard people talking behind me and the rustling of the net.

"What's up?" I asked, shoving my hands in my pockets and rocking back and forth on my feet. He looked at me for a moment and then shrugged as if he shook off a thought.

"I don't know how you're going to react to this, so I'm just gonna say it. You're going to be training with the transfers,"

Wait, what? When was this decided? I'm suppose to be with my brothers and sisters, fighting with them so they can make me better. Not with a couple of Candor smart mouths who are too cowardly they can't even jump into a net.

"Why?" I force out. It was as if flames were embedded into me. Like my temperature was rising. Uriah's face was concerned, unlike his usual comedic attitude. "Well, now that's there's only two females in the transfers, it wouldn't be fair if they had to fight against all males,"

This is by far the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. Since when did Dauntless discriminate against gender? It didn't matter, it had nothing to do with confronting your fears. Or overcoming cowardice. Uriah clearly saw my disbelief because he then started to walk with me back to the net.

"It's also that you are close with Nicole, and we don't want to raise the suspicion that your rankings aren't based on your skill," The way he was speaking. Those weren't the words of his own thought. They were that of my parents. They feared that I would be looked at differently. Because of the name. My parents were Dauntless leaders, and they overturned the law that saved the fate of dozens around me. Now, you didn't have to leave once you got older. You can still be brave with old age. It was a revolution.

"It was my parents," I muttered, kicking the ground. Uriah didn't say anything. He simply nodded and guided me towards the net. Everyone was here, and I made my way to Lily, Mel and Joseph. The boy whose hand I grabbed was talking. His name was Nash.

"Where the hell were you?" Lily whispered, tossing me my jacket.

I pulled it on and fixed my hair. "Attempting to jump into the chasm after receiving great news from the folks," Joseph chuckled and everyone turned to glare at him.

"You think is funny?" Xander spoke over the heads of the transfers trying to contain his own laughter. He and Joseph were best friends since childbirth. We all were close, me, Xander, Joseph, Mel and Lily, but Xander and Joseph were inseparable.

"No. Of course not. I'd say that this is very important information that I am listening to intently," Joseph replied. We tried to hide our smirks and I saw a ghost smile come across Xander's face. Nash started talking again and once the attention was no longer on us, I began to tell them my dilemma.

"Guess who's training with the transfers because apparently, gender is now important in learning to overcome your fear." We began walking towards the Pit. Like every year, a Candor had to make an stupid comment about the name. "What?" Mel laughed.

"That and if Nicole is my trainer, the rankings would be unfair," I spat out the last word like it was sour.

"That's absolutely ridiculous," Joseph said, shaking his head. Lily snorted and I turned my attention to her. We arrived at the Pit and I didn't know if she snorted at Joseph or the faces I the transfers as the drank in the appearance of the Pit. I saw it like home.

"I'd say she's pretty lucky," Lily murmured, tightening her pony tail. We stood in the middle, together in a giant cluster. This is where we split. This is where I meet my trainer. I wasn't really listening before. I raised my eyebrows at Lily's comment.

"What?" Mel answered for me. "Why?"

Lily gave us all a knowing look, and then smirked. "Have you seen the guy who's training the transfers?" She waved her hand in front of her face as if she was hot. But we all knew what she meant.

"Transfers," A loud voice echoed through the Pit. I looked to the source and saw Nash, the guy who helped me out of the net. Lily bumped my shoulder. And it was clear now. He was very attractive. And judging by the looks the other girls gave him, we weren't the only ones who noticed.

"You're with me," The Erudite girl was the first to move towards him, batting her eyelashes at ridiculously fast speed. I couldn't help but roll my eyes as I said goodbye to my fellow Dauntless born and weaved through the crowd. The transfers gave me looks as I joined them.

"What's she doing with us?" I heard the Candor boy complain. I looked to Nash who gazed at me with a slight smile. My cheeks went hot. Was I, blushing?

"Theo, right?" He said, putting his hands in the pockets of his pants. I looked behind me at my friends. Lily glanced at me and winked before heading off. I couldn't help but smirk.

"Appears so," I replied. I almost got lost looking into his stunning eyes. I couldn't look at him any longer. I might explode.

"Theo is going to be training with you guys," He said, addressing the transfers. The Erudite girl made a very unflattering sound and checked her cuticles. I always hated the people from Erudite. They were always obnoxious and full of themselves. The person I could stand was Caleb. And even he had his moments when he visited.

"What was that, Erudite?" Nash asked, stepping a step towards her. He crossed his arms and actually looked menacing. She froze, her pale face turning a red color. I hated her already. I could have punched her then and there. But, I chose to control it.

"M-my name is Paige," She tried to say but was cut off by Nash. "That wasn't the question," He said, towering over her like Goliath. His eyebrow was raised and his sculptured mouth was in a hard line. But, as Paige struggled to say something, the corner of it moved up. Into a tiny smile. He was handsome even when he was threatening.

"Good," Nash started as he began to walk down towards the dining hall. "Anyone else have any comments?"

"Why is she training with us?" A small voice spoke and I looked to my right to see the red haired Amity girl. Her face wasn't as puffy as it was before, but she still looked like a ghost.

"I'll let her explain that," Nash said without turning around. It crossed my mind that I didn't know how to explain it. I couldn't say that the Dauntless leaders think that you have no chance against the boys in your group. She's already shaken up from the sudden death of her friend. And then finding out that she will probably be faction less in a few months can't be any better.

"Names got mixed up," I shrugged as if it was no big deal. "Guess they needed another number to even out the fights during stage 1," She turned to me, clearly confused. She moved her lips to ask a question but shook it off. And then, she did the unexpected. She extended her hand towards me. And for the first time since jumping off the train, I saw her smile a bit.

"I'm Haley," She said as I shook her hand. Her eyes were not emerald like Nash's, but they were more the color of a lily pad. I smiled back at her and realized we reached the dining hall.


	3. Chapter 3

Some ideas are mine. Other belong entirely to Veronica Roth.

* * *

I heard loud shouting and tables moving. Xander and Joseph were making their own table. Mel and Lily were laughing. Everyone looked happy. And here I was walking in with the pathetic group of transfers. Lily saw me and gestured for me to come over. I abandoned my group and waltzed across the floor, receiving looks from everyone. Boys in particular.

"How was seven minutes in heaven?" She asked, tapping the section of table next to her. I rolled my eyes and took a seat, facing the room. The transfers sat on the far end, and I'm grateful they didn't look too out of place. My eyes lingered on Nash a little too long as he took a spot next to the Candor boy whose name I still don't know.

"It wasn't heaven, that's for sure," I watched as Paige sat across from him. What a surprise. Haley took a seat next to her.

"I'm telling you, that boy is the hottest thing to come to Dauntless since your dad," I nearly spat out my drink at her comment. Good old Lily, talking about how hot my dad is. The sad thing was, everyone in Dauntless would agree.

"Really, Lil,"

"What? It's true," She took a bite of her burger.

"What do you mean by came?" I asked, grabbing a snack off the table. She snickered at my choice of words and I shoved her.

"He was a transfer," She suddenly caught my attention. A transfer?

"From where?" I asked, leaning towards her. She shrugged and adjusted her pony tail. Lily was very pretty. Lily was the kind of girl boys would kill to be with. She was curvy, unlike me. I was more athletic. She had these dark brown, almond eyes. She and I were both extremely attractive, but in different ways.

"I don't know. I don't think he's ever told anyone," I was intrigued by him. I wanted to learn more. I got up and dusted off invisible dust that was on me. "That's my girl," Lily spoke, as I decided to head over to the transfers.

They all looked at me as I took a seat next to Nash. "Nice of you to join us," He murmured, looking towards the door. I shook my head.

"I'm not a very nice person," I muttered back. I saw the side of his mouth move up.

All of the sudden, the room went quiet and all I heard was the tapping of clunky boots against the tiling. I knew who it was. Jackson. He walked in, sporting a black mohawk and numerous piercings in his lip and brow. Soft murmurs erupted into regular conversation as he made his way to our table.

Let's get one thing straight: I hate Jackson. He disgusts me. He's rude, cruel and takes exactly after his father. I still wonder what crazy bitch would want to get with Eric and create offspring. And the worst thing was, he had this crazy thing for me. It was exhausting. He thought that just because he was a young leader and he was all tough and shit that he could have anyone he wanted.

That was completely and utterly untrue.

He creeped towards our table and I noticed Nash tensing up. He wasn't scared of Jackson. I guess he just didn't like him.

"Nice group of transfers," Jackson slurred out. "Care to introduce me?"

Nash ran through everyone's name. I couldn't remember all of them, but the Candor boy is Ky and the Erudite boy that was staring at me on the train is Logan. Just as Nash was about to say my name, Jackson cut him off.

"Well, well, well," He said, making his way towards my side of the table. I didn't realize I was holding my breath until he sat down right next to me. "I heard you're here because your parents wanted fair rankings," He smelled of gasoline and I remained silent, even when he decided to run his hand along my knee. Thank god no one was paying attention because I would have killed him then and there if they saw what he was doing to me. Nash was speaking with Ky and Paige was talking with Logan. Haley was no where to be found.

I felt Jackson's hot breath against my ear. I refused to be affected. Don't punch him. Don't kick him. Please don't kill him. "I know another way how you can improve your ranking," His whisper made me vomit in my mouth. His hand was making its way up my thigh.

"Not everyone need to sleep with someone to get what they want, Jackson," I sneered at him. Nash was looking at me. His gaze was focused on the side of my head as I stared forward, refusing to look at the creature next to me. Jackson laughed a little and finally got up, taking his clumsy hands with him.

"One day, it won't be a question," He threatened as he left the dining hall silently.


	4. Chapter 4

**Some ideas are mind. Others are entirely from Veronica Roth.**

* * *

We finished our tour and headed to the dorms. I decided to take the bed in between Lily and Joseph.

But, I still couldn't shake the events of today. Everything that happened. I needed to do something to clear my head before I went to see my parents.

"Do you want go get a tattoo with me?" I asked Lily and we were putting our clothes away. She looked at me like I had six heads. "I thought you said you hated tattoos,"

Shit. I did say that.

"But I want one that will only be seen if I have my clothes off," That was true. I knew exactly what I wanted to get for my first one. "And I want more piercings in my ear," I wanted 8. I already had 3. She thought about it for a moment.

"I want to get another tat, so sure," She stretched her arms out and fixed the shoelace on her boot. "Good, let's go,"

* * *

"Mom!"

We entered the tattoo parlor and were greeted by the group of transfers, waiting to mark their flesh. Paige, Ky, Logan, and a kid I remember as Trevor, were sitting in the waiting room of the parlor. Ky waved and I waved back. Paige sat looking through a book of designs, acting like I wasn't there. I rolled my eyes at her.

"Jesus Lil," Tori came out of a room, latex gloves on, hair tied back. She was working on someone. I knew it.

"Theo wants a tattoo," Lily said to her flustered mother. Tori raised her head I look at me and smiled. I can tell she's been waiting to tat me up since I was little. She did all of my mom's tattoos and it would only be best if "Tris's little girl" got inked by her as well.

"Finally," She said as she cleared the open working area across from the waiting room. I nodded and removed my jacket. Lily looked at me as if she was waiting for me to say something.

"A phoenix," I answered her unasked question. There was meaning behind getting a phoenix. It symbolized rebirth and immortality. It was my kind of tattoo.

"Where are you gonna get it?" She asked, taking the seat across from the one that I sat, waiting for Bud.

"Across my lower back," Suddenly, Bud came out of a back room, pen and paper in hand. I explained my idea to him and he sketched out a beautiful design that would extend from the lower left of my back to the underneath of my right rib. I could tell the transfers were watching when I had to remove my shirt to get the picture put on my back as a guide.

After I had the sketch on my back, Lily and I walked towards the back room, ignoring their stares. When we opened the door, I saw who I did not expect behind the door.

Nash.

He didn't have his shirt on as he got up from the chair, I could tell Lily was staring. Well, she had a reason to. I didn't. I was more worried about the fact that was practically naked from the waist up. When Nash saw me, his face turned from shock to having a small smile. I smiled back and watched as he pulled his shirt back over his head.

"Theodora," he acknowledged, walking near me to the door. Why he used my full name, I don't know.

"Nash," I responded, heading towards the chair near Tori. She was busy cleaning her equipment to see what just went on in 10 seconds. Lil was still reeling. When the door shut, and I knew he was gone, Lily screeched. It was a high pitched squeal and Tori jumbled some of her stuff.

"Damn it! Li-"

"Did you see him?!" She stabled herself against the wall and looked as though she was experiencing euphoria. Nash is good-looking, but I would never react to him the way she did.

"He's just a guy, Lily," I said, taking a seat as Tori looked at my sketch. She nodded in approval.

"I love how you can ignore the fact that a gorgeous boy, who did I mention was shirtless, was looking at you like every single girl wants to be looked at," Lily cried out, taking a huge breath at the end of her sentence. I rolled my eyes. He was looking at me like he looked at everyone else. Which is actually a kind of a sarcastic look. Now that I think about it, he gave off this cocky kind of vibe.

Eventually, after a few minutes, Tori was finally able to start my tattoo. Lily kept going on and on about everything from Dauntless cake to that one Candor boy who can't keep his eyes off me. I learned to tune out some of her rambling.

"There," Tori said with one last swipe against my skin. I got up and faced the mirror. It was beautiful. The tail was made out of black flames and the traveled upwards until the head of the bird was at the bottom of my ribs.

"It's stunning," I breathed, unable to look away from it. It represented everything I was. Everything I believed in.

"My turn!" Lily chirped. I shook my head out of my daydream. Tori patched me up and I took a seat by the door.

"You can go get your piercings in the front," Tori offered as she began cleaning her tools. It hit me that I couldn't put on my top, so I settled with just dragging on my jacket. I tied my hair back and exited the room.

* * *

"What did you get?" I looked up and around to find the source of the voice that came up out of the blue. Then, I saw Ky sitting two seats to the right of me. He's still here? I spotted Trevor getting a tat by Bud on bicep.

"A phoenix," I said, hoping he was the one who asked. He simply nodded and continued to look aimlessly through the book of designs. I returned I my original position: sitting quietly and trying to resist turning my new piercings. I got my second hole pierce and two more cartilage earrings on my right ear, underneath the one I already had. I got one more in the middle of my left ear. It was really hard trying not to touch them. They didn't hurt, I'm just a very curious person.

"How many do you have?"

I guess I'm not the only one.

I looked back at Ky. He still was looking down at the book. And oddly enough, he has been on the same page the whole time.

"As of now, I am no longer a tattoo virgin,"

He snorted and then tossed the book on the table and finally turned to face me. He cocked his head and looked confused. I don't know what he could possibly be confused about.

"So you've been living here for 16 years and it never crossed your mind to get a tattoo?"

"Oh, it's crossed my mind. I just never knew what to get," I swatted my hand down when I reached for my right ear.

"Why did you get a phoe-"

I cut him off. "Are you sure you're not a Erudite? Because you ask way too many questions," I narrowed my eyes at him. A piece of his blonde hair fell in his eyes and he refused to move it. He just looked at me with a blank expression that I wanted to punch off his face.

But, I'll save that for training. Right now, OCD was kicking in overtime and I got up and watched his every expression as I walked towards him and squatted right in front of him. He simply looked at me with that same dumb face he had the first time he saw me. It was amusing.

"Ky, right?" I asked, placing my hands on the armrests of his chairs. He nodded, not breaking my gaze. I slowly raised my hand to his face and moved that annoying hair out of his eyes. I smiled, feeling satisfied.

Leaning to his ear, I whispered, "Much better," as I got up and looked to the door where Lily was exiting.

"You're Theo, right?" I looked back at Ky and notice he was smirking, a sly little smile. I put on the warmest, most fake smile I could muster up.

"Eaton," I started as I grabbed my shirt and walked with Lily towards the door.

"Theo Eaton,"


	5. Chapter 5

**Some ideas are mine. Everything else belongs to Veronica Roth.**

* * *

I knew going to my parents' apartment was a bad idea. It would just end bad for all three of us. I wouldn't be able to control my anger and, well, that never ends well.

But still, after seeing Lily's tattoo, which was a flower on her ankle, I decided it would just be best if I visited.

I didn't hate my parents. I loved them. It's just, we have such separate views on everything, I won't be able to have a real conversation without fighting. They say it's out of love. They like fighting with me because they love me and want the best for me. I just think they don't want their older daughter to grow up.

I knocked on the door and waited outside, shoving my hands into my jacket pockets and looking around. It was late, and the hallway was completely empty.

After a few moments, I was greeted at the door by a tall, handsome, carbon copy of my dad.

Beck.

"Oh look, it's you," He said, trying to contain a smile.

I laughed and he pulled me into a big hug. Even though he was only 15, he was at least 6 inches taller than me. My little brother.

We both walked into the apartment and I saw my parents, sitting in the couch together. I held my breath, half expecting my dad to ask why I've been walking around without a shirt and half waiting for my mom to question me about everything that occurred today.

Quite frankly, I didn't want to talk to either of them. I immediately regretted coming. I remembered everything I heard from Uriah and I hated them. I hated my parents right now. But, I didn't want Beck to see any of it.

"Beck, Joseph was looking for you in the pit," I lied, looking my brother in his deep navy eyes. Mine are different from his, they're more of a blue gray. He nodded and waved goodbye before leaving quickly. I couldn't have even faked being a Candor. I'm too good of a liar.

I turned around and looked at my parents with so much disgust that if looks could kill, their hearts wouldn't be beating. They must have noticed my hostility because Dad got up and walked towards me, finding words to say.

"Listen-" He tried to speak, but I cut him off.

"No," I sneered, walking past him so I stood in between both of them. I heard my heart pound in my ears. Is my breath ragged? Yeah, it probably is.

"Do you two really think I'm that pathetic? That I can't even train with regular Dauntless born?" I spat out the words like they were sour. I didn't notice that my mom was now standing next to my father. Her blond hair was pulled back from her face. Right now, they didn't look like the legendary Four and Six, toughest trainers and Dauntless leaders that our faction has ever seen. They looked like Tris and Tobias, my unfortunate parents.

"It's not like that Theo," She tried. I laughed, sarcastically.

"Well it's certainly not all this gender and Nicole bullshit!" I didn't realize I was shouting. Right now, I wasn't realizing anything but the fact that I hated them.

"If you would just listen-" My dad sounded surprisingly calm. I looked into his sad blue eyes. I must be really messed up if I could hate him.

"No. All I've ever done is listen. Listen to you, listen to Christina, listen to Will, listen to Uriah. Hell, the only person I haven't listen to is myself. I'm tired of being lied to about everything! It's as though I don't exist!"

"We were worried-"

"That's bullshit, Mom. You know I've been able to hold my own against everyone since I was little. Not even Joseph or Xander could put me down. You call yourself Dauntless leaders when you're just as cowardly as Marcus!"

Then, it all happened quick. I felt a burning sensation across my face. It stung, but it didn't feel painful. There was only one thing that did.

My father, Tobias Eaton, my daddy, the man I've loved my entire life, just did the unthinkable.

He hit me.

I looked up at him, his expression blank. Like he wasn't there. My mom had her hand over her mouth, in total shock. I saw tear peek out of the corner of her lashes. My father came back from his daze. His face showed pure pain.

"I-I'm so sorry," He breathed, trying to comfort me. "I didn't mean to do that. Oh my God, I'm so sorry," He looked as though he was the one who just got backhanded across the face. He extended his arms towards me.

I should have accepted them, but I couldn't. He meant to hit me. Right when the word came out of my mouth, he lost it. He meant to hit something, not necessarily me, but he did. And he could apologize all he wanted, but I couldn't accept it now. That didn't mean I didn't love him, though. A part of him did mean to hit me, and that part was stronger than the one saying "this is your daughter,". Marcus was the word that pulled the trigger. And for some reason, I said it, knowing I would get hit.

"I told you not to lie to me," I whispered, before opening the door and exiting, without another word.


	6. Chapter 6

**Some ideas are mine. Everything else belongs to Veronica Roth**

* * *

Right. Left. Right. Right. Left. Left. Kick.

Poor punching bag.

I had to step away from it for a moment. I was panting, and I felt sweat start to form on my forehead. Hopefully it doesn't wash off the makeup I used to cover up the nasty bruise on the side of my face.

It wasn't that bad, I just didn't want any questions.

I glanced to my right and saw Haley, barely making the bag move. She wasn't muscular at all, and half of her curly red hair was falling out of her ponytail.

I looked around and saw Nash on the complete other side of the floor, showing Paige what to do as she stood, watching a little too intently. I rolled my eyes at her and turned to face Haley.

"Use your elbows and your knees more," I said to her between breaths. She looked at me, in a little shock that I was helping her. Finally, she nodded slowly and continued.

"How about you worry about your own fighting skills?" I heard the familiar voice and I knew Nash was smirking. How he made it over here in such little time is beyond me.

"Nothing to worry about," I spoke, not turning to look at him.

"Then show me," At those words, I began my sequence again, hitting with a harder punch each time, trying to get my anger out. Involving my parents in particular.

When I finished, Nash whistled behind me, and then appeared at my side. I looked at him and he was smiling. I rolled my eyes and started punching, softer than before

"Why are you helping out your competition?" He asked, and I felt his eyes burn into me. I was only wearing a sports bra and cropped leggings.

"Well, the person who is supposed to be helping her was busy teaching someone else,"

"Why the sarcasm on teaching?" He asked, and I knew he was smiling.

I stopped the gestured towards Paige, who now was hitting at the bag like it was me.

"That girl didn't need any help," I rolled my eyes and punched the bag with my right fist.

I heard Nash laugh. "I'm a good teacher and she's a fast learner," I couldn't help but snort at him. He knew I knew he was joking.

"She just wants to get in your bed," I murmured, drop kicking at the bag. He didn't respond, but I felt him near my ear and my spine tingled.

"You would be surprised how many girls want to get in my bed,"

I practically froze still and didn't say anything. How could I say anything to that? I just knew he was smiling. He does that too often.

"Nice tattoo," He said as he returned to his original position.

I smirked. "I would say the same to you, but it seems you kept your clothes on today,"

He laughed and didn't say anything. He just walked around me and observed. I should have felt uncomfortable, but strange enough, I didn't. I didn't care if his eyes were lingering on me. I actually kind of liked it.

Holy shit no.

I didn't just think that.

No.

* * *

"Did he really say that?!"

It was the lunch break of the first day and I sat next to Lily and Mel. Lily filled Mel in on everything involving Nash.

"And then some," I replied, taking a bite of my cake.

"The fact that he knows he's desirable makes him ten times sexier," Mel swooned. I had to laugh at her because it's so odd to see Mel react like this.

She is not obsessed with boys like Lily is. To be quite honest, I thought she was a lesbian for the longest time. That idea was demolished when she admitted she had feelings for Joseph last year.

"I'm sure Joey would not like to hear you say these things," Lily said, raising her voice to an unnatural tone. Mel's eyes widened and she shoved her, laughing. "That was like 2 years ago, Lil,"

"That was like last year," Lily said, baffled at Mel's response. And then they started bickering. And when Mel and Lily bicker, it is a God awful thing to experience. It's like having an Erudite and an Abnegation in the same room. Bad. Just bad.

"Well, while you two discuss that, I'll go join my other friends," I said, leaving my garbage. They didn't even hear what I said. It was no use. I walked over to the transfers and took a seat next to Nash.

A look passed across his face before he greeted me. I don't know what it was, but it certainly wasn't pleasant.

"Hi," He said, looking at me.

"Hello," I responded, shifting in my seat.

Then, there was silence between us. Why was it all of a sudden so awkward between us? I mean, he confessed stuff to me, but when did that make things weird? It didn't make it weird the second after he told me.

"Why did you lie to Haley?" He blurted out. Thankfully, no one heard him.

Now that I think about it, I didn't lie to Haley because I thought she would get hurt by the facts. The truth is, I didn't know if the facts were real. My parents didn't deny me calling bullshit on the Nicole thing, so I have no idea what the truth is.

"Because I don't trust the facts," I said simply, looking up at him. He stared me in the eyes and I was forced to gaze into his. It seemed like it was for forever.

"Hey, Theo!"

We both broke away and I looked at the end of the table towards Ky. He sat with a bunch of his Candor friends and a few Erudite. He gestured for me to come over and I got up, shrugging to Nash.

He nodded and as soon as I walked away, 5 Dauntless girls appeared at his sides. Well, he wasn't lying.

I walked over to Ky and notice they were all staring at me. My eyebrows knitted together in confusion and then I realized I was shirtless.

Classic.

"Yeah?" I asked, placing my hands on my bare hips.

"How the hell are you so good at fighting?" Logan asked, leaning across the table. I realized his hair was black, not brown. His ice blue eyes pierced into mine. He looked like Paige and then it hit me.

He was her brother.

"My parents trained me well,"

_And they hit you after._

Trevor's hazel eyes widened at my response. He had blonde hair that was so light, it could look white. "You were trained by Four and Six?" He asked, in awe.

I rolled my eyes. "Well, they're my parents so yeah,"

"Hey, we were wondering," Logan began to talk and he had a smirk on his face. "There's going to be a party tonight at Trevor's brothers apartment and he invited us. We were wondering if you wanted to go,"

"Who's your brother?" I asked Trevor.

"Jasper. He's friends with that crazy kid, Xander,"

I guess that's why Trevor transferred. His brother did. There was no possible way he got Dauntless from his test.

"Yeah, I know Xander. I've known him since I was born."

Logan's face lit up. "So that means you'll go? You can bring your friends too. Especially the girl with the black hair,"

I snorted. "If your going to make a move on her, at least know her name is Lily," Logan smiled, but was clearly embarrassed. Lily probably knew about the party anyway.

"Sure, I'll go," I decided. I needed a little fun. I guess a party will get my mind off everything.

"Ok, see you tonight," Ky said, trying to sound cool. I pitied him for his lacking in flirting skills.

"Or, I'll see you in ten minutes," I said, walking away from the table and towards Lily, Xander, Joseph and Mel. They were all beaming ear to ear.

Xander stepped forward and placed his arm around my shoulder.

"So there's this party,"


	7. Chapter 7

**Some ideas are mine. Every else belongs to Veronica Roth.**

* * *

"Holy shit, Lil,"

I stood in front of the mirror in Tori's apartment. After Xander informed me on the party that I already knew about, Lily made me swear to let her "doll me up". And doll is an understatement.

I was wearing a sleeveless black top that was hugging my body. It had two diamond openings in the side that showed off my sides and hints of the black ink curling towards my rib.

Lily tried to force me into a skirt but we both knew that was not going to happen. She let me settle on black, ripped skinny jeans. I had my leather jacket over it and unfortunately black heels that she successfully forced me into. But, my hair was pin straight and extended down to my lower back. I don't know what she did with my makeup, but it worked. Holy hell, it worked.

"See, now you're not just beautiful," She said, leaning on my shoulder. "You will have every single boy on their knees for you. Not that you already do," I shoved her and smiled. Lily looked amazing as she always did, in a black, tank top that cinched at the waist and a matching black skirt.

"I hope you know I gave your name to a transfer," I muttered as we left the room. I looked at her and her eyes were wide.

"Who?!" She demanded.

"Logan. Black hair, blue eyes. Brother of she devil. Which I don't even know how that's possible because he's cute and she's," I couldn't find the word to describe her. So I just left it at that.

"Well, he's cute. And that's all that matters," She replied, tilting her head.

We reached Jasper's apartment and heard music blasting, people screaming, and bottles breaking.

As I knocked, I looked at Lily. "Seems like my kind of party," I said with raised eyebrows.

She laughed as soon as the door opened. I guess Jasper opened it because he looked like Trevor with the white blonde and gold flecks in his eyes. He was a little drunk and he still had a bottle in his hands as he looked us over.

"I don't know who the hell you two are now, but you're hot, so come in," Lily and I exchanged glances before Xander jumped on the back of Jasper.

"They're with me," He said, jumping down and taking our hands.

"You're lucky," Jasper shouted over the music as we entered.

Let me tell you, I have been to many parties, but this one, was insane. There were at least 40 people shoved into the tiny apartment. The kitchen was turned into a bar, with tens of bottles with different colors and red cups. Cups were strewn across the floor and everywhere you turned, there was either a couple making out, a drunk girl venting to her friend about how she might be pregnant, or that one shy guy that no one really knew, dancing to himself in the corner.

"I don't know half these people!" Xander shouted and I smelt the alcohol on his breath. He handed us each a bottle.

"Fights start tomorrow," He said, finishing off his bottle. "Get as drunk as you possibly can," He walked away, stumbling a little.

I looked at Lily and she was downing her drink. When she finished her swig, I stared at her in disbelief. How can a tiny girl like that drink that much? She then raised her drink at me and wandered away, somewhere unknown. I didn't know where to go. It seeming like anywhere I could go was a hot spot ready to go off.

I decided to go towards the stereo, which was blasting a techno song that I loved. I didn't finish my bottle, but I was close. I had a high tolerance for alcohol. A couple of guys came up to me, offering me a drink or asking to dance, but I just shrugged them off.

"Looks like someone's having a good time," I recognized the voice, even though it was a little slurred. I turned around and was greeted by slightly hooded emerald eyes.

"Hi, Nash," I said, in a voice that I have designated for the moment when a drunk person talks to me. A voice that had a slightly different pitch.

"You know," He said, pointing his bottle towards me. He was wearing a black t-shirt that surprisingly wasn't stained with vomit. That's a good sign.

"I've watched you for the past 15 minutes and I saw that you have turned down every single guy that has tried to talk to you," He took a step closer to me and looked down into my eyes. "Now, why is that?"

I was stunned, for just a second, at how good he can look intoxicated.

"It's because they all want to get in my pants," I practically had to yell over the music blasting in my ear.

"Well, I'll say," He slurred, leaning against the wall next me. "I overheard that this Ky kid plans to bang you so hard tonight, you won't be able to hold a gun tomorrow,"

I burst out laughing. I couldn't help it. That was by far the most appalling thing that has ever passed his lips. And the best part was, he was drunk. So he wouldn't remember it. Suddenly, he leaned into my ear, the same way he did during training. Except now I couldn't take him seriously when he was like this.

"I'd say he's one lucky guy,"

I started laughing again. "You're really drunk, Nash,"

"I'm not drunk, everything's just blurry," He smiled and I couldn't but smile back. It was as though he was relaxed. Like he didn't have a care in the world. It was as though he was really seventeen.

"Why did you come to a party if you're not even going to drink?!" He asked, suddenly really loud. And I understood why. I pulled us away from the stereo so I wouldn't lose my hearing.

"I am drinking," I said, shaking my empty bottle. He rolled his eyes and grabbed another from a bin that was conveniently place next to him. He held it out to me. I gave him a smirk.

"Peer pressure is not what I expected from you," I replied, thrown off by his gesture. He smiled and shook the bottle, aching for me to take it. I bit my lip, questioning whether I should. All of the sudden, Nash raised his hand to my face and took my chin between his pointer finger and his thumb. He gazed down at me and gently pulled my lip from my teeth's grasp.

When he looked at me, it seemed like all the alcohol evaporated from his system and it was actually him doing this, not his drunk self. He didn't even smell of booze. His face was inches from mine and I thought he was going to kiss me. I wanted to pull away, complaining that he was drunk, but it was like his eyes held me right where I was.

It was Xander who broke us up, telling us that this was not the place for PDA. But, that his bedroom was open for business. Nash laughed, and I pray to God he didn't get any ideas. Xander then guided us into a spare room.

15 people, I think, were sitting in a circle.

It was sad when I realized that Nash was probably the most sober out of everyone.

Jasper, Joseph, and now Xander all sat together, bottles in hand. Nicole and her two friends, Heather and Ivory, were laughing so hard, I thought they were choking. Ky, Trevor, Logan and some other transfers were staring at me. They did that way too often. And Lily was with Mel, twirling her hair and yelling. Nash grabbed my hand and we both sat down in between Nicole and Xander.

"Leggo," Xander slurred, clapping his hands. I guess he just initiated the start of the most terrible party game to ever be invented.

Truth or Dare.

I really wanted to pay attention, but everyone was just saying the same dares over and over again. So and so go make out with so and so. So and so sit in so and so's lap. I guess they couldn't think of anything unique.

"Nash, truth or dare," Lily asked, giggling as she spoke.

"Dare," He challenged, taking a sip from his new bottle. It was like there was a never-ending supply. Lily tried to speak but she just kept giggling.

"I dare you to make out with..." She searched the circle. I tried to duck. I've been ignored the entire game, probably because I was semi-sober.

"The-o!" She squealed, saying my name in two parts.

Oh, God no.


	8. Chapter 8

**Some ideas are mine. Everything else belongs to Veronica Roth.**

* * *

As soon as I looked at his face, I spoke words I never thought I would.

"Take your shirt off, Nash," I pleaded. He looked at me like he was surprised.

"Wh-"

"Just do it, please," I collapsed my shoulders and exhaled. He thought about it for a moment and then smiled, a slow smile.

"Fine," he breathed, grabbing the hem of his shirt. "But you owe me, baby," He slipped it over his head and leaned back, satisfied.

"Theo, truth or dare?" He asked, absorbing the stares from all the girls in the room. Except me.

"Truth,"

He leaned in close to me and I saw the muscles in his shoulders ripple with every ragged breath he took. He tapped the side of my face.

"Where'd you get that bruise?"

Shit. My jacket was hanging up somewhere, so of course it was my shirt. I leaned back towards him until the distance between was the same as it was before. I brought my lips to his ear.

"No way," I whispered, dragging my shirt over my head. He looked at me and smirked. He took my hand and brought both of us up at the same time, grabbing his shirt in the progress. I had no idea _what_ he was doing. I just grabbed my top. He said goodbye to everyone before pulling me out of the room.

He was shirtless and my top was dangling in my hand as we received looks from the non sober of the remaining group. My jacket caught my eye on the banister and I grabbed it before we exited.

"Nash, _what_ are you doing?" I asked as he led me throughout the hallways until we were nearing the dorms. He stopped before the door, stabled himself against the wall and placed his hand on his forehead.

"Well, being drunk is not fun," He said, before collapsing on the floor. Oh, great. I leaned down and checked for a pulse. He was still alive, thank god, but he did in fact need a little help to his room. I'm really going to have to do this. Help my shirtless drunk trainer back to his room. But, not dressed like this.

"C'mon," I eased, grabbing his arm and pulling him up. He was heavy, but I was still able to get him on his feet. He shook his head and blinked. Some of the alcohol must have faded away because he looked stable.

"Can you make it back to your apartment, Nash?" I asked.

"I think," He replied, running his hand through his hair. "But I might need some help," He leaned against the wall and gave me a brilliant smile.

"Fine, wait here. I'm gonna go change," He saluted me in response and I walked quietly into the dorm room.

It was dark, but I could still make my way to my bed. As I passed the others, I heard Haley's familiar cries. It hurt to hear them, especially now when I was fully awake. I reached my bed and took off my clothes, replacing them with a baggy black t-shirt and short shorts. I decided to walk barefoot. Anything is better than those god awful heels.

I left the dorms and spotted Nash right where I left him, leaning against the wall. He led me to his apartment, stumbling a little here and there. I had to stable him a couple of times. Eventually we made it.

"Thanks," He murmured as he unlocked his door. I muttered a no problem back and started to walk back down the hallway.

But, I guess he grabbed my arm because I flung back into him. He held my chin the same way he did before and looked at me. I finally understood what Lily was talking about. The whole thing about him looking at me the way every girl wants to be looked at. Because now, I desperately wanted to pressed my lips to his.

"Don't try to remind me what happened tonight," He whispered. I nodded and his face inched close to mine. My heart felt like it was pounding out of my chest.

"I really want to kiss you," He slurred a bit. I widened my eyes and felt my breathing rate increase.

"But I'm drunk and that's no fun," He released my chin and instead, kissed me on the forehead before entering his apartment.


	9. Chapter 9

**Some ideas belong to me. Everything else belongs to Veronica Roth.**

* * *

The fights were ridiculous.

Everyone was so hung over, they couldn't even throw a punch. The only ones that could were me, Paige and Haley.

Of course I had to fight Ky. Nash probably planned that out. Ky hasn't looked at me the entire day, embarrassed that he said that he was going to have sex with me or that he didn't.

"Theo, Ky, you're up," Nash said as he circled Logan's name after his sad excuse of a fight with Wes, a fellow Erudite.

I stepped in the ring, glaring at Ky. His face was pale and I thought he was going to throw up.

Might as well get this over with.

My fist connected with his jaw and he stumbled backwards. As he did, I grabbed his shouldered and brought my knee up and hit him in the face.

He collapsed to the ground and I watched the dark red ooze from his nose. He sat doing nothing. Just trying to cover his nose from it dripping all over the mat.

The door shut and I heard someone walked in. The familiar sound of boots sent a cold front through my body.

"Aren't you going to finish him?"

Jackson's voice echoed through the silent room.

"He is finished," I said, not looking away from Ky. His eyes were bloodshot and his face was covered in blood. "He can't fight anymore,"

"Of course he can," Jackson said. I didn't know where he was, but he was awfully close. "Finish him," He was closer to me.

"Jackson, stop-"

"Shut up, Nash. Don't stick up for your little girlfriend." He growled and I realized he was right behind me. His hot breath seeped into my ear.

And I laughed. "Jealous, much?"

"You have no idea," He muttered and I felt something cold press against my bare skin. It was a knife. "Finish him." He sneered once more.

And then my anger took over. All my hatred for Jackson boiled over and my elbow connected with his nose. The knife cut my back, but it didn't hurt. I grabbed it out of his hand and kicked out his legs. He landed loudly on his back and I climbed on top of him, pinning him down.

His knife was now at his own throat as his lips broke into a sick smile.

"Touch me again," I warned, pressing the blade to his neck. "And I will kill you,"

"Theodora!"

I looked up at the source of my name and saw my parents, staring me down from the doorway.

Holy shit.

* * *

"What the hell were you thinking?!"

I was so used to this, I didn't even listen.

"Do you have any idea what could have happened?!"

I like spinning chairs. Especially the one I was in now.

"Why can't you control your anger for once?!"

Spin right. Spin left.

"Are you even listening?!"

I stopped and looked up at my fuming parents. My mom's blonde hair was pulled back into a messy ponytail and her face was a tad bit red.

My dad's eyebrows were knitted together and his eyes were glaring at me. I nodded slowly at the last question.

"What could have possibly be an incentive for you to do that?"

"Oh, I don't know," I shrugged. "Maybe it was that he held a knife to back, threatening me if I didn't finish someone who was injured on the ground. Or maybe it was all the sexual advances he's made to me in the past year," I tapped my chin.

"I still haven't decided which one,"

I got up from the chair and noticed I left blood all over it.

Whoops.

"Why didn't you tell us any of that?" I heard my father. I looked up and saw his sad blue eyes.

"Because I didn't think it was that big of a deal," I murmured, tapping my nails against the wooden desk.

"Of course it's a big deal," My mom said, crossing her arms.

"Well it isn't to me," I stated, heading towards the door. I didn't have any desire to talk to my parents. I was still fuming about what happened the last time I spoke with them.

"I won't do it again," I muttered before slamming the door behind me.


	10. Chapter 10

**Some ideas are mine. Everything else belongs to Veronica Roth.**

* * *

Stage one is finally over.

And I've never been happier.

Beating people up gets tiring and my knuckles have been a deep shade of purple of the course of training.

Today, the rankings went up. To be honest, I wasn't that excited about seeing them. People are going to cry when they realize they're factionless. And others will embrace that they're safe for another few weeks.

Lily practically had to drag me out of bed, telling me that everyone wants to see me after my little fiasco with Jackson. Apparently, I wasn't the only one who wanted to slice him to pieces.

When I arrived at the training room, alone after Lily and I parted ways, I was shocked.

It was empty.

There was not a soul in sight.

Judging by the equipment, no one has touched anything in this room since yesterday. Confusion was the only thing I felt as I walked throughout the room.

The ranking board caught my eye and I headed towards it.

My name was at the top, below it was Ky, then Trevor, Paige, Wes and _Haley_? But her name looked as though it was covering an already erased name. Actually, all the names seemed like they weren't originally put on the board in the way that they were. Only mine was on clean black.

But Haley? There is no way she made it. She only won one fight. She couldn't hold the gun without shaking and her knife throwing was ridiculous. This wasn't possible. And where's Logan's name? I'm pretty sure he won most of his fights.

"Looks like someone's late to the party,"

I turned around and saw Nash at the doorway. My body warmed when I saw him. I don't know what he does to me. It's like I'm drawn to him. He was wearing what he always does: Black shirt and black jeans. I wonder if he even has any other clothing items.

_No, you wonder what he looks like without them._

"I'm terrible with time," I muttered scratching the back of my neck. That last thought threw me off guard as Nash began to walk towards me. "When did this all happen?" I asked, gesturing to the board.

"About ten minutes ago," He stood next to me and looked at the board. We both studied it for a few seconds. I turned back to look at him and saw that he was gazing at me the entire time. I felt color flood to my cheeks.

"How did Haley make it?" I asked. It was a questions that was worth asking.

He exhaled and ran his hand through his hair. For some reason, I desperately wanted to do that too.

_God. Cut it out._

"We found 3 bodies in the chasm this morning,"

"Holy shit," was the only thing I was able to make out.

Three bodies? One is normal, but three? It definitely wasn't suicide. It raised the question whether it was on accident. And if it could have been murder.

And murder is never something you look forward to solving.

"The only remaining girl was Haley so we were forced to move her along,"

And then I realized the only person with a valid reason to kill them would be Haley.

Haley. The girl who cried when her best friend died on the first day of initiation. The girl who couldn't speak with without it being a small whisper. The girl who couldn't hurt a fly, killed 3 people.

"Do you think it was Haley?" I asked again.

Nash shoved his hands into his pocket. The sleeve of his t-shirt tugged up a bit, revealing a strip of black permanently etched on his skin.

"Some transfers say she was in the dorms all night," He took another deep breath and turned to face me head on. His bottom lip was caught in the grasp of his teeth as he looked everywhere but at me. "Others say they heard someone leave in the middle of the night,"

"No one can do anything now, can they?" I replied. My heart sank. Someone was going to get away with murder. And my head had a huge target on it. Those who are on the bottom always want to take out those on top. It's human nature.

"Now, I couldn't give a shit about the murders," He took a step towards me. I felt my blood start to pulse through my veins. "They're done. Over with. There's nothing you can do to bring them back," He took another deep breath and dropped his voiced. "But there is something you can do to prevent them in the future,"

I looked down at my feet, unsure what to say. I felt his hand wrap around my chin and force my face up to look at him. His expression was hard but his eyes were soft.

"You need to promise me that you will protect yourself from whatever happens," He released my chin, but held me in place with his eyes. My body felt as though it was going to incinerate.

"You need to be careful," His eyes darted towards the entryway to the training room. Mine followed and I saw a shadow for a split second.

"I can take care of myself," I muttered to him.

He rolled his eyes and stepped back, running his hands down his neck. What he is so worried about is beyond me. A little freak wants to try to kill me, I'll make sure they're the one who ends up at the bottom of the chasm.

Why people are doubting my abilities is also a question I want answered. First, it's my parents. Which that I understand. But, now my trainer? He watches me when I fight all the time. Quite frankly, it seems his hasn't been more interested in any other initiate but me.

Nash looked back at me. My heart started up again.

"Sometimes, people kill for reasons besides the obvious,"

My mouth dropped a bit after what he just said. The words had a cryptic meaning to them. And it left me more confused then when I first arrived into the former empty room.

"C'mon, you should eat," He finally said after a few moments of comfortable silence.

I swear, this boy is going to make my brain turn to shit.

* * *

We walked into the dining hall, together.

That last word was the reason we were stared at.

I made sure I stayed a reasonable distance away from Nash. A friendly distance. But it was still enough to get me death glares from 80% of the girls in the room.

Normally, I would accept their jealousy and keep walking. But something inside me reminded myself of what Nash told me.

Sometimes, people kill for reasons besides the obvious.

The words still swirl around in my head. I'm not scared of what he said. I'm just intrigued about what he tried to say between the lines.

I saw Lily, Mel, and Joseph sitting at the opposite end of the room. A part of me wanted to go see them. There expressions looked worried as Lily and Mel waved me over and Joseph gave me an encouraging smile. I was just about to excuse myself from Nash when he laced his fingers in mine.

I felt my throat go dry as I looked down at our intertwined hands. Typically, I would tug my hand away. But now, I simply kept it where it was. And somehow, it felt perfect.

I looked to Lily and her face explained everything. I smiled at her and she gave one her best winks.

When we reached the table, every person had their head down. Trevor, Ky, and Wes all ate in silence. No one looked at either of us. Paige looked like shit. And Haley was nowhere to be found. That troubled me the most.

"Are you guys-"

"Reece and Cole were never going to make it anyway," Ky interrupted me, looking down towards us. He didn't look mean or upset. He just looked, emotionless. Like a zombie.

"So what, Ky," Trevor hissed back. He had bags under his eyes and his hair looked like an absolute mess. "That doesn't mean they deserved to die,"

"Becoming factionless or death," Ky retorted. "Everyone knows that they would rather die than become a part of that-," His face contorted, trying to find the right word. "-disgusting group of people,"

"Not always," I murmured.

Everyone went silent and looked at me. I felt a hand rest on my leg. The act that was normally performed by Jackson was now being done by Nash. And it was a thousand times more pleasant.

Suddenly, Paige stood up and slammed her chair.

"You fucking bitch!" She screamed. She started dashing towards the hall entrance. I looked towards where she was running and my face dropped.

Haley stood, battered and bruised, looking like she just returned from the depths of hell. Her eyes were wide when she saw Paige. But it was too late for her to run. Paige ran towards her and tackled her with all her weight. This wasn't going to end well if I didn't do something. Clearly, no one else was moving. They were all in shock over the event that was about to unfold.

I quickly got up from my seat, leaving my leg cold from where Nash's hand was. I ran towards the both of them, avoiding every person and table I could to get there as fast as I could.

Paige was hammering in Haley's face as she screamed in wrath.

"You killed him! You killed him!"

I wrapped my arms arm her stomach and tugged her off of Haley. Her arms kept flailing as she now hit nothing but the air. Haley's face was covered in red and she was quiet. Almost too quiet.

Paige's body stopped fighting. She shut down. Her whole self collapsed in a place I never thought she would.

In my arms.

"She killed him," She cried softly. "She killed my brother,"

All my hate for Paige evaporated in a matter of a few seconds. She was hurt. Broken. Vulnerable.

Her hands clutched on my arms as she buried herself into my shoulder. She cried and cried as they hauled Haley's lifeless body away.

She sobbed even as I wrapped my arms around her. And there were two words she said over and over as we stood for what seemed like forever.

"He's gone,"


	11. Chapter 11

**Some ideas are mine. Everything else belongs to Veronica Roth.**

* * *

"Stage Two commences today," Nash said as he guided all the initiates down the hallway. I stood between Paige and Haley, which has become my new job: keeping them from killing each other.

After she was taken to the doctors, I went to see Haley. And let me tell you, I've seen people get hurt. But she was in bad shape. There was more black and blue on her face than her regular pale skin. She couldn't respond to any of my questions, and she suffered from a major concussion and had possible brain trauma. The doctors told her she shouldn't keep going forward with training, but she said she could. It took her a while to pull herself together. And being constantly asked about the night when Logan, Reece and Cole were didn't help either.

Paige, however, looked like she was going to flip any second. She'll grab my arm tightly when she feels like she might freak out. Which is exactly what she's doing now. We entered the area outside the simulation room as Nash explained what will go on in Stage Two.

I already know how everything goes. You go in. Get injected. Face your fear as fast as you can. Wake up. Freak out for a few seconds. And then leave, hoping no one heard your screams as your tried to ward off thousands of spiders.

And I have a lot of expectations to live up to.

We were mixed with the Dauntless-born and as Paige was called first, I was given the ok to sit with them.

I leaned against the wall and pulled one knee to my chest and left the other straight. Lily was to my right and Joseph was to my left.

"What do you think it's going to be?" Joseph asked me as Lily spoke with Mel. He smirked down at me.

"Maybe having to kill my parents," I suggested.

But, was I really scared to do that? It's really messed up if I'm not. But, I am sort of messed up. I mean, now that I think about it, I'm positive killing my parents won't be one of my fears.

"I doubt that," Joseph snorted, running his thumb from his mouth to his chin, as if he was deep in thought.

"I think it might be sex," I laughed and shoved him, knocking him off-balance.

"I'm not afraid of sex. Who would be?"

"You'd be surprised," He murmured, leaning his head against the wall. I turned my torso to face him. I was still smiling.

"Are you?" I almost burst out laughing when I asked him. He snorted again and let out a laugh.

"Theo, you do know I'm a guy, right?" We both started laughing together.

Being here with him reminded me how much I miss everything. I miss him, Lily, Mel, and Xander. I missed the nights when we would sneak into the training room and play dumb, dangerous games that our parents would scold us for hours for doing. I miss running through the Pit, trying to shoot each other with paintball guns.

I miss Beck and our kickboxing tournaments that I would always let him win. And surprisingly enough, I miss my parents.

None of them could be in my fear simulation. Them being threatened or being forced to kill them. They can't be.

I already lost them.

"Theo,"

Moment of truth.

I got up and wiped my hands on my pants. Nash guided me into the room.

I've never been in a sim room before and I was shocked at how plain it was. There was metal chair in the center and a machine beside it. There are no windows and there is a computer screen on a desk in the corner. To track your fear I guess. Once the door shut, I turned to Nash, waiting for instructions.

"Sit," He said, simply.

As I sat in the chair, I realized how similar this all looked to the room I was in for the Aptitude Test. Almost the same layout. Remembering the Aptitude Test was almost haunting me. The Abnegation woman who issued my test was the main thing I remember. Well, mostly her words.

_You are a Dauntless. During this test, act like one. Don't do anything different. Do what a Dauntless would._

Her worried expression stayed in my mind as I grabbed the knife. When I killed the dog mercilessly. When I realized I didn't want to do it at all.

My mind came back when Nash's hand brushed against my neck. I expected it to send a chill down my spine, but instead, it left a path of heat. A small pinch and the serum started pumping through my body.

"Goes into effect in sixty seconds," Nash said as he walked over to the monitor.

"Don't laugh at whatever my fear might be," I murmured, lying my head back against the cold headrest.

"I just pray I'm not it," He said as he walked back over to me.

"Don't flatter yourself," I made out, beginning to feel the effects of the serum. "You certainly don't scare me," He smiled and brushed his hand along my cheek. I would feel it, but my eyelids began to feel like lead.

"I hope I don't," Were the last words I heard before everything faded away.

* * *

The only thing I saw was black.

I wasn't sure if my eyes were shut or if I was in a black room. I looked down to find my hands. They were intact and visible. I was just in a black room.

_Maybe the serum didn't work yet._ I wondered.

I waited in darkness for something to happen. There was no noise except for slight noise I made with every breath I took. Looking around, I saw nothing. It was like I was floating in an infinite space, doing nothing. I counted in my head.

_One. _

_Two. _

_Three. _

Still nothing.

"Hello?" I asked, rocking back and forth on my heels. It's only been two minutes max and I was getting progressively bored. Whatever was going on in this fear simulation, was not working.

I should feel fear. And yet, I'm extremely disinterested.

My body began to feel heavy again. My bones turned to cement and my eyes found themselves begin to shut. My mind went blank completely. And I found myself slowly sink back to sleep.

* * *

My eyes slightly opened, and then immediately blinked after the light was too much for them. For a second, I wondered where I was. And then I heard the buzzing of the machine from the simulation room.

I shot up out of the chair and held my hands to my head. This was all too confusing. Was that my _fear simulation?_ Being in a room with nothing to do? But, I wasn't scared at all.

"What just happened?" I asked to Nash, who I knew was there. My palms contorted my face as everything rushed my head into pain.

Nash didn't answer.

I removed my hands from my face and looked at him. He stood, staring at the computer screen. He looked as though he had seen a ghost. Or my results.

"Nash, what the fuck just happened?" I said again, getting progressively annoyed. He still didn't answer. He began to type at the computer.

I swung my feet around off the chair and stood up. My legs felt like jello and I had trouble trying to walk on them. My head was spinning and a thought ran through my mind. What if that really was my fear simulation? What if it just didn't work on me?

"Nash, I swear-"

"Be quiet," He snapped back, studying the screen for something. He started at it, waiting for some sort of confirmation on what just happened. His jaw was began to clench with every passing second.

Eventually, a beep went off. His whole body relaxed as he stepped away from the monitor. He ran his hands through his hair and looked at me with the same expression he had before. Absolute disbelief.

"Was that suppose to be my fear?" I asked, still reeling from the experience. A small fragment of my body still thought I was in a simulation. I grabbed my arm, making sure this was all real.

"No," was all he said as he began to walk towards me. My body started to get back its feeling when his presence was close to mine.

"Why didn't my fear work?" I whispered more to myself than Nash. He looked me dead in the eyes with the most serious expression I've ever seen on him. His eyebrows were knitted together as he exhaled before speaking.

"Because you don't have any,"


	12. Chapter 12

**Hi. Sorry it took so long to update. I was really busy this week, but I promise I will update as often as I can. I want to thank everyone who has reviewed, favorited and followed my story. You probably don't think it means a lot to me, but trust me. It does. I would especially like to thank LovelySheree who has been so supportive towards my fanfic. She has her own called "Ablaze" and you should really check it out. Sorry this is really long but I just had a lot to say. And here's chapter 12 :)**

**Some ideas are mine. Everything else belongs to Veronica Roth.**

* * *

It started in my stomach.

It swirled around in my gut and almost forced my back to arch.

Then it moved up to my chest, which contracted as I inhaled so deep, I thought my chest was going to implode. And then I just let it out.

I laughed.

It doesn't seem the most proper response when you hear news like the kind I just did. Normally people would react seriously, with concerns and questions on something that important.

But, me being me, I burst out laughing. Nash didn't look to happy with my reaction.

"You're kidding," I breathed out. My laughter had subsided, but I still felt a tickle in my chest every once in a while.

Nash face grew into an impossible scowl as he answered my question without words.

"You don't get it," He said, placing his palms on the desk exhaling.

"Isn't having no fears a good thing?" I asked, still smiling. I could tell just how much I annoyed him by how the expression on his face stayed still like cement. "It means I'm not scared of anything,"

He didn't respond. He simply grabbed my arm and we started for the door. "Look scared," He said.

"Obviously it's not that easy," I murmured back.

Looking up at him, I saw the corner of his mouth twitch up, but he quickly returned to his stern expression.

I started shaking the way the other initiates did. I flinched randomly at every small noise that echoed as I left the simulation room. All conversations died down when we entered. Nash held onto my arm as I tried to walk with a limp. Joseph almost got up to help me with hurt in his eyes, but Nash waved him away.

It hurt to see them be so worried and concerned about me, meanwhile, I got out of my sim in less than a minute.

I suppose I can't even call it a fear simulation anymore. I guess it's just black room time for a good 50 seconds.

What will I do during stage two than? Just sit in the chair while Nash makes up some shit to put into the machine? Or maybe, I'll be initiated into Dauntless already and become one of the leaders. Hell, a girl with no fears. I'd say that would be a first.

We exited into the hallway and I began to walk normally. Following Nash wasn't easy either. He began to turn his slow trudge into a fast paced power walk. He obviously had to bring me somewhere important. Which after a few minutes, I found out it was just his apartment. He opened his door, and held it open for me to walk in.

"You're already inviting me to your room?" I muttered, shoving my hands into my pockets as I waltzed into his room. "Don't you think it's a little too soon?"

He shut the door behind me and I turned to look at the new space. There wasn't much, except a bed, couch, table, and a few doors which I guess led to a closet or the bathroom. While I expected everything to be in black, I was surprised when black wasn't the dominant color. Brown was, with hints of white, blue and a bit of black. It was astonishingly refreshing.

"Have a seat," He said. "Make yourself at home, you're going to be here for a while,"

My stomach clenched with anxiety at the last suggestive words he said. I had to come to the realization that he meant he had to talk to me for a long time, not anything else.

I sat down on the edge of the bed and knotted my fingers together. Nash remained standing, not taking his eyes off of me. We sat in silence for a few minutes. I guess he wasn't sure how to explain my problem. The only thing I could think about was the conflict he seems to be having.

"Isn't having no fear suppose to be a good thing?" I blurted out to rupture the quiet. He looked at me and smiled a bit. His eyes glimmered and I realized they looked darker today. A jade green instead of their normal emerald.

"Having one or two fears is excellent," He said.

_Maybe four or six are good too._ I thought of my parents. Little do they know, they bred the no fear freak of the Dauntless initiates.

"That means that you are almost fearless, but you still have something holding you back. You still have something people can hold against you," He squatted down to meet me at eye level. "But having no fears is bad,"

My body clenched.

Bad.

Three letters. Three small letters could decide my fate. Three letters could cause my life so much havoc and atrocity that I won't be able to deal with.

"Why?" I breathed grabbing onto my sleeves. I pulled them down to cover my hands. My skin felt cold when I pressed my palms together, even when I expected them to be warm and gross from my anxiety.

"Because they can't stop you. You won't be afraid to push boundaries. Question authority. Question society. You won't be afraid of anything they'll try to threaten you with," He took a long breath and looked away for a minute. A glance crossed his face, almost as though he was in pain telling me all this. But, even in pain, he still managed to look completely and utterly beautiful.

"You are invincible, Theodora," He finally said, looking back at me, "You are a disturbance to the society because you can defeat the opposition. And there is nothing they can do to stop you,"

I felt like I was being strangled. Like I was slowly drowning in my blood. Well, actually I'm drowning on all the information being told to me in a matter of a few minutes.

I am fearless.

And yet, I am extremely dangerous. I wanted to ask who they were. But that would cause more confusion to my already deteriorating brain.

"What do I do then?"

"You hide it. During the simulations, I'll enter a fear and change the results. Hopefully no Erudite decide to stop by and look at your results. They'll be looking for Divergents but if they find you, then they'll have a completely different mission,"

Every single fiber of my body clenched up at the word.

_Divergent._

I've never exactly been told about Divergents. But, it seems that somewhere in the very back of my mind, the word sits with its definition. It's just waiting for me to discover it.

"Trust your parents,"

I was still in uneasy waters with my parents. I heard they've had several meeting with the other factions regarding the stability of Dauntless and how my parents are pledging to stay loyal to the Abnegation-run government.

I nodded, hoping for him not to notice my hesitance. "How do I know I can trust you?"

He glared at me for a few moments and then his face broke into a smile. "Because if I wanted you dead, you would be already,"

People are trying to kill me.

_People are trying to kill me_.

My eyes got wide. "You mean they're going to try to kill me?"

He must have noticed my expression because his smile erased at my words. He sat down on the bed next to me and he placed his hand on my knee. "You're dangerous because you're different from everyone else. If you make them believe that you are just another Dauntless adrenaline junkie who's secretly scared of rejection, they won't kill you,"

"So act scared. It's that simple?"

I'm not sure why I asked if this would be simple. It can't possibly be as easy as just acting scared. What happens when fear landscapes come around? What will I do then?

What about the rankings? What about my time? How can I be sure I even make it to fear landscapes if Nash makes my times longer for the simulation so no one expects anything? So many questions, but I couldn't ask any. I would just confuse myself even more.

"For now, yes," He looked down at me. He was still taller than me, even when he was sitting on the edge of the bed.

Normally when I looked at him, it would only be for a second and then I would look away. I would get too nervous or flustered if he caught me staring at him.

Staring at the way his jaw tightens when he's pissed off. The way his lips slightly part when he's thinking. Or even the way he smiles and his eyes look up at something that I don't see, but he might.

Now that I think about, I have his expressions memorized.

Heat doesn't rush to my face anymore. I don't get a burst in my stomach when I see him. I don't get flustered now. I've come the realization that I don't act like a girl around him anymore.

I act like I'm fearless.

Even though a part of me wants to throw myself at him and tell him how I really feel, I can't. I have to wait. I have to wait until I'm sure. And I don't know how long that will take.

"I'll take you back to the dorms," Nash said, standing up. He wiped his hands along the legs of his pants. My mind wandered to if it was me who made _him_ nervous.

I joined him at the door and took a deep breath before exiting the place that made me feel safe for a short time. We walked down the hallways, making turns here and there. Passing various people. Some Nash would wave to and others I would. I seemed like together, we knew every person in the Dauntless compound.

But, it seemed like when people saw me, they would have a sad look in their eyes and then just avoid looking at me all together.

"What's going on?" I whispered to Nash when we arrived in the Pit.

There was a huge crowd of people circled around the entrance to one hallway. People were screaming and pushing each other. Some would take their fight off to the side and start beating the shit out of each other until someone came along and pulled them apart.

Nash grabbed my hand and pushed through the people. I felt squished by Dauntless I didn't even know, all shouting something regarding the simulations.

And then I heard Mel's name.

We made it past everyone and arrived at the beginning of the hallway. There were several soldiers who normally guard the gates were pushing people back from the hallway.

One saw us and jogged over, obviously coming to stop us. But instead, he ran to Nash and whispered something in his ear. Nash's face turned sour and he started to push me back into the crowd.

"We should get out of here," He yelled to me over the screaming. When his hand found mine, I pulled it away. I wasn't going anywhere.

"No," I said, sternly. "What's going on?"

He grabbed my arm and tried to pull me again, but I thrashed out of his grip.

"Stop!" I shouted at him, as he tried to grab me again. I glanced up at his face and froze. I expected ferocity, anger, something. But his face was blank. Sad even.

Then there was a gasp.

And I regretted turning around to see what it was for.

Joseph entered from the hallway, expression heartbreaking. He looked like he just came back from hell. His eyes were red and it looked as though he had every fiber of his body ripped out.

Because in his arms, he held Mel. And there was only one word to describe her.

Dead.


	13. Chapter 13

**I am so mad at myself. You have no idea. I am a terrible person for not updating. My internet decides to stop working during the one week that I can write (I use Google Drive because my laptop doesn't have Microsoft Word). I am so so so so sorry. Excuses excuses, I know. I decided to updated at least once every weekend, depending on what goes on in my life. Anyway this is sorta a filler chapter, but the next one will have more action. I promise. God, I feel awful about this.**

**Some ideas are mine. Everything else belongs to Veronica Roth.**

* * *

I should feel something.

Sadness, anger, grief.

Something.

But the only thing I feel is painful emptiness.

Mel was my sister. She was a part of me that was ripped out the second I saw her lifeless body dangle in Joseph's arms. The tether between us was broken. And now the only thing that remains in my body is pain.

She had a reaction to the simulation. Her body thought the fear was actually going on. Nicole told me the simulation was drowning. Mel held her breath until she passed out. She fell out of the chair and hit her head on the concrete ground. She killed herself without getting out of her nightmare.

Just thinking about it makes me want to collapse. Just curl up and forget about everything around me and cry.

But I can't.

They already had the funeral. Jackson made the speech on her behalf. Saying that she was facing her fear even in her death. She was a fighter, and she died trying to survive.

I threw up next the chasm after he spoke.

I couldn't see Joseph or Lily without breaking down. I saw Mel in the both of them. I saw her in the way they spoke and acted and just seeing them in general.

As much as I wanted to mourn and cry, initiation wouldn't let that happen. And neither would Jackson, who gave us the gift of a paintball game on the night two days after Mel's funeral.

But, there was something far more important. And that was my parents.

I walked to their apartment a few hours before we were scheduled to go to the tracks to head off to the paintball area.

I expected Beck to open the door. I even had a small smile on my face for him.

And yet, Father Eaton opened it. Looking like absolute shit.

He hasn't shaved in a few days, evident by the immense stubble forming on his chin. His normally bright eyes have turned to a darker color, black at a certain angle. And his hair was longer than usual, making him look more Dauntless than when it was short.

He looked surprised when he saw me. Almost speechless.

He looked in pain as well. The same way I have been feeling.

Maybe I didn't understand him sometimes. Maybe I try too hard to be distant from not just him, but my mother as well. I think that they are trying to push me away when in reality, I'm leaving them behind.

And seeing my dad was like looking in a mirror that only reflected what was going on in the inside. We both felt the same, I could see it in his eyes.

"Hi," I choked out in barely a whisper.

He said nothing.

He wrapped his arms around my shoulders and pulled me in. I buried my head in his chest. I haven't hugged him in forever, yet it felt so natural. These were the things I miss from my life. Something as simple as a hug could make me break down. And as much as I didn't want to, as much as I felt that more tears were useless and unimportant, I didn't fight it.

I let go.

I cried. More than I have in a while.

More than I did when I saw Mel. More than I did when I saw Joseph, Lily, and Xander at the funeral.

For the first time, I felt like they were worth it.

We stood for what seemed like forever. I finally broke away when my sobs were replaced with a few sniffs here and there. I looked up and he smiled a little down at me.

"Thank you," I whispered.

"You're my daughter. I'll always be here for you," He said back. Shutting the door, he told me to come in. I took a seat on the couch.

"Where's Mom? And Beck?" I asked, pulling my knees to my chest and leaning my head back against the cushion. I heard my neck crack and it sent a tingle down my back.

"She's with Christina and Shauna," He poured some water in two glasses. "They're at Marlene's place. I heard she's a wreck. Not even Uriah has been able to talk to her. As far as your brother," He handed me a glass and smiled. "I never know where he is anymore,"

"Reminds me of myself," I muttered, taking a sip of water. It felt like heaven even though it was only a drop of water. I heard my dad laugh as he sat down next to me.

"You were a different story. You would go places no one else would go. Ridiculous places. I still remember you standing on the tracks and playing the game of who could stay on the longest while the train came towards you,"

He shook his head at the memory. "Reckless, that's what you were. And you still are,"

_Because you not afraid of dying. _

"Can I ask you a question?" I blurted out, turning so I was facing my dad. I noticed how more color returned to his face since I first saw him. Maybe it was my presence that made him happier. Considering the last time I saw him, I told him off.

"Go ahead,"

I swallowed, not sure whether I should tell him. The only person who knows is Nash, and I've known him for a few weeks. I've known my parents for 16 years and I'm hesitating to tell them. If that's wrong, I guess I'll have to live with it.

"What's a Divergent?"

His face went blank. Almost the same face he had after he slapped me. It was like I struck a nerve that made him unresponsive. Frozen.

"Don't ever say that word again," He spoke after a few moments. His expression returned to the same hard one he always had. The one he used to intimidate all the initiates. I don't know if he's trying to intimidate me, or stress the importance of his last words.

I nodded and looked away from him.

"Who told you about it?"

"No one did," I picked at the side of my nail. "I just heard it,"

"Are you?"

I looked back up to him, making sure to keep my expression plain.

I knew before he asked any questions that I would lie. It seems cruel, I know. But now, it was just too early to be able to explain everything, let alone understand it. I don't even know what being Divergent means. How do I know that's what I am?

"If I were Divergent, why would I be here asking you?" I heard the nastiness in my voice. I took my response back by looking down at my feet.

"Because you don't understand," My dad said back, just above a whisper.

"I'm not Divergent," I persisted.

"What were your test results?" He pressed on. Even though he was trying to play the part of overly protective father, I couldn't but begin to feel bothered by his constant questions.

"I didn't come here for an interrogation," I snapped back. Silence should have sat after that, but he didn't stop. Now I know where I get it from.

"I'm just trying to help," He put his hands on his knees and began to rake his hands through his hair. "What did you get from your Aptitude Test?"

I took a large intake of breath and ran my nails down the inside of my wrist. "Dauntless,"

"Don't lie to me,"

"Why would I?" The irony in that sentence almost made me burst into flames. I was choking on my own words, trying to make them sound real, when they were just fabrications.

I shouldn't have gotten Dauntless on my test. Sure, I acted like one. But, that wasn't what I wanted to do. I wanted to grab the knife. I wanted to stop the dog without killing it. You don't always have to kill something to stop it.

"How was stage 2?"

Now is where the real deception starts.

"Fine," I sat cross-legged and took another drink of water. When there was no answer, I looked up at my dad's face as he stared at me. Expecting me to elaborate.

"I was trapped in a room and burnt alive," I murmured back. Now that I think about it, that might not even be a probable fear. Who knows if that's something people are even scared of.

My dad looked surprised, like he didn't expect me to say that. Unless he wanted me to say spiders, he shouldn't be all that shocked.

No one told me what was in their fear simulation. Maybe because I haven't talked to anyone in 48 hours.

"You don't have to lie to me, Theo,"

His voice was quiet, a bit louder than a whisper. It startled me how fast he could change how loud he spoke.

"Didn't we already establish that I wasn't lying. I'm just embarrassed from it, ok? It was terrifying,"

I forced my body to hover as if I was reminiscing about the memory of feeling the flames char my skin and the smell of my burning flesh.

Even through the corner of my sight, I saw him roll his eyes at me. Like he could see right through my bullshit. Christina was a Candor. She probably taught him a few sleazy ways to tell of a person is lying.

"I have to go. We have the paintball game tonight," I got up, wiping my hands along my pants, trying to remove how slimy they were.

I heard the couch creak as he followed me, sighing. A sharp pain in my chest cause me to ache. It wasn't from anything other than the fact that I was lying to my father.

I wrapped my arms around him and hugged him again. It just eased some of my guilt, holding onto him.

"Thank you," I found myself saying again, even though it came out as a muffled whisper.

"Be careful," he responded. There was something behind his words that I couldn't quite decipher. I chose to ignore it.

"I'm sorry," I blurted out, not sure how to put. I was sorry for a number of things. One being my absence from my family. After what happened with Mel, I can't take anything for granted. There is so much I could lose, and I act like I don't care. When in reality, I do.

Another being the fact that I flat-out lied to him.

"We still love you. No matter what," He whispered, smoothing out my hair. "Don't ever forget that,"

I nodded, not sure if he noticed it against his chest.

I was never so sure that I loved my dad than in that moment. I didn't feel any sort of detest or annoyance towards him. I felt like I was still the little girl who cried on his shoulder. The girl he raised right in a place where the only thing you saw more than a fight was a gun. Hell, he did a fine job raising Beck and me.

I felt like I was his daughter.

And I didn't have to lie about that.


	14. Chapter 14

**I know I promised more action but I was desperate for an update so I wasn't able to add as much as I wanted to. But, I can assure you, next chapter is a pretty lively one. Also, I was thinking for adding a song for each chapter. Music is very important to a story so I was wondering if that might be an idea. Anyways, thanks for the reviews, follows and favorites. Here's chapter 14 :).**

**Some ideas are mine. Everything else belongs to Veronica Roth.**

* * *

It never occurred to me how familiar a gun feels in my hands.

How my fingers fit every groove indented into the handle. How evenly the weight is distributed into my hands. Even the exact metal smell it left behind.

"Nash and I will be the captains,"

Jackson's rough voice broke me out of my reminiscing.

I was leaning against the wall of the train, listening to the wind howl next to me. I tried to cut Jackson's voice from my hearing, but he spoke so loud and demanding that I couldn't tune it out.

I looked out the opening in the car. It was just dusk, the sun still peeking out over the horizon. The sky had formed into a mixture of pink and orange, each color blending out as if I was looking at a painting.

Hearing my name, I turned my attention back to the center of the space. Jackson stood in the middle, gun firming in his hand as he twisted the rod in his eyebrow. He smiled at me and I scrunched my face up in return.

"Would you liked to be considered a transfer or a Dauntless-born?" He asked, taking a step towards me. My body didn't flinch like it normally did.

Damn, I guess this whole no fear thing is getting to my head.

"You and I both know the answer to that," I spat back, transferring my gun to one hand. It dangled at my side while I placed my other hand into the pocket of my jacket.

He looked at me for a few more moments, expression unreadable. His smell was nauseating and I was forced to breathe through my mouth.

"Transfers it is," He swiftly turned around returned to his original position. My fist balled up at my side at his response.

I heard Lily exhale next to me.

"You seriously are too defiant for my liking," She said, shaking her head in the process.

I smiled at her and nudged her with my shoulder.

I felt good that I could now talk to her without crying. We both recognize what happened to Mel, but we swore not to let it get the best of us. I wouldn't say that we forgotten her. My mother always told me that the best way to live on after someone you love dies is to never forget them.

Jackson looked to Nash, as if waiting for an answer. Nash simply stood in the same position as me. We were directly across from each other, except he was too concerned messing with his gun to even notice me.

Typical.

"I'll pick first, then," Jackson said, trying hard to establish authority even though it was obvious he already had it. He eyes moved along the transfers, making it look like he might pick one of them. Even though his choice was already clear.

"Theo,"

I rolled my eyes and walked towards him. Looking at Nash, there was a smirk on his face. The first time I ever saw one from him. And a small part of me wanted to punch it off his face.

"Ky," Nash said, not putting any effort into it at all.

"Trevor,"

"Haley,"

Jackson snorted. The whistling of the train drowned out any other noise beyond that. I couldn't hear the teams, I only saw people move either towards me or away.

And those towards me consisted of Trevor and Paige from the transfers and Joseph, Connor, Jasmine, Mason and Becca from the Dauntless-born. I knew Jasmine and Connor pretty well. We were friends more than acquaintances. But, I never really got to know Mason or Becca. Probably because they spent most of their childhood already training for initiation.

They're bloodthirsty Dauntless. The kind who paint their bodies in tattoos, have more artificial holes in their face than real ones, and get high from adrenaline.

It seemed in only a few minutes that Nash's team was already off the train. As soon as they left, all hell broke loose.

"Where are we going to hide the flag?"

"What's the plan?"

"Can we shoot the other people in the head or is that not allowed?"

"Does paintball hurt?"

I just rolled my eyes and sat down on the floor.

To think the last time I was like this was the day of the Choosing Ceremony. It's ridiculous how things have changed.

"Everyone shut up!" Jackson finally snapped, silencing everyone. His hair looked extra grimy today, being held up by enough gel to support all the men of Dauntless.

He grabbed a bag off the floor of the train and pulled out a black tin.

"Take some and pass them around," He muttered, removing the lid, revealing the fluorescent colors of more paint balls.

"Didn't we already get some?" Paige asked, shifting her gun in her hands. It looked too heavy for her, even though it was noticeably lighter than any real gun.

"And?" Mason answered, digging his hand into the tin. He looked like a kid who just got a piece of cake. His eyes looked black in the dark and you could barely see the streaks of neon green in his hair.

Becca followed his lead, smiling as she put some paintball in her pocket.

I should have known that Jackson was going to cheat. It was just in his nature. Even though he was first in his class two years ago and he won paintball during his initiation, losing to Nash wasn't going to happen.

When the tin reached me, I pulled out two paint balls: one purple and the other orange. I placed them in the pocket of my jacket and walked towards the doorway.

When Jackson appeared next to me, his familiar smell filled my nose. Not even the fresh air could mask the gasoline.

"Did you forget about my little promise?" I said through gritted teeth.

He made a low noise that came from the back of his throat.

"How could I forget? It's the closest we've ever gotten with your consent,"

A shot him a look and tightened the grip on my gun. Our stop was approaching and the familiar feeling of adrenaline began to kick in. Even though the most disgusting person in the world was next to me, nothing could prevent my heart from pumping.

And before I knew it, I was airborne.

* * *

Nash's team was at an old, beat-up warehouse.

It seemed like the most probable place to hide it. For the past few years, everyone's been at the pier or the old bell tower. No one's really gone anywhere else.

As we headed over the bridge that covered the dried up river, it seemed that the only people discussing the plans were Jackson, Mason, and Becca. Jasmine was speaking with Trevor, keeping her eyes glued to the ground and Paige had her flashlight out to see where she was walking.

The ground was covered in broken up pieces of cement and glass. I tried to watch where I was going, but the darkness didn't make that easy.

"Where do you think they hid it?"

I looked up from the ground to see Connor to my right. He was smiling and I noticed a dimple on his left cheek. Now that I think about it Connor was pretty attractive. He was nothing compared to Nash, but there is no comparison to Nash. He had sandy brown hair that was untouched from and dyes or artificial means and glossy light brown eyes that looked darker without any light hitting them. All in all, he wasn't a drastic Dauntless. If there was one word to describe Connor, it would be cute.

Our group halted when Jackson stopped and began to glimpse around, holding the flag in his hand.

"I'm guessing the warehouse," I replied, pointing to the dilapidated building a few hundred feet away. The top of it was in ruins, leaving the entire floor without a roof. Only a few windows remained intact and the moonlight glinted off the remaining glass.

Connor followed my gaze and studied the building.

All of the sudden, I saw a flash of light in the top floor. It was brief, and you would only see it of you were staring at the building.

"Did you see that?" He asked.

I nodded.

"Hey, Jackson!" Connor called, jogging over towards the leader. He turned around, annoyed.

"We're trying to find a place to hide the flag," He snapped back.

"They're in the warehouse," Connor breathed back. He was obviously intimidated by Jackson, judging by how timid he was.

Jackson turned to look at the warehouse and even in the dark, I could see him roll his eyes. "And why do you believe that?"

"Because we saw the light of the flag," I stepped forward, hoping to take some of the heat. "They're in the top floor. We can't go in all together, they probably have the whole place guarded,"

Connor smiled at me and I returned the favor. Jackson ruined the nice moment by opening his mouth. "What do you suggest then? What do we do with the flag?"

Wheels began to turn in my head. We can't really find a good place stationery to hide it. Basically every place has been used before. But there's one thing no one's ever done before.

And if they're distracted, someone can easily scale the building with all the rooks in it. We could play offense and defense at the same time.

My face broke into a smile as all the pieces fell together.

"I have an idea,"


	15. Chapter 15

**Okay. So I really like this chapter. Just gonna say it. Thanks for all the reviews, favorites and follows. The more you do, the more I write. You guys are the reason I keep doing this. I would thank you a thousand times if I could.**

**Some ideas are mine. Everything else belongs to Veronica Roth.**

* * *

_**Nuclear Seasons, **_**Charli XCX**

From far away, the warehouse looked like any old run down place. But as I got closer, it became more and more eerie.

The red brick had turned to a darker color. The openings that used to contain windows and doors were now boarded up, excluding about 2. But, the thing that really bothered me were the sounds.

There were none.

It was silent except for the breeze that would rustle the bushes I was walking through.

The plan was simple.

I would go to the warehouse, get caught, and distract the team while Paige and Jasmine would sneak around to the south wall. Hopefully, while I fight off a few, they'll successfully have made it.

Then Connor, Jackson, Becca and Mason will help with whoever isn't guarding the flag while the other group searches the top floor for their flag and retrieve it.

Joseph and Trevor will be keeping watch through one of the windows to make sure nothing goes wrong or out of hand.

Of course, I didn't take into account that maybe everyone on Nash's team was waiting on the inside and they would shoot me so many times that I wouldn't be a distraction to anyone.

That's always a possibility. But for now, this was the plan.

My gun was up as I slowly walked in the bushes. The noise could easily be mistaken for some wind or a bunny or something.

The warehouse was only a few yards away.

There was nothing else in front of me but brick. The door was a slide down entrance, whose metal sheet was missing. **(AN: LIKE THE ONE ON GARAGES)**

And the oddest thing was that no one was around. No one was guarding the entrance.

My gaze moved up to the trees that grew around the right side.

There was no movement.

But, I had the suspicion that there was definitely some there. Almost like the branches were too still with the wind whipping.

And then I saw the glint of a scope.

Before the shouting began, I held my breath and aimed right at the spot where light just reflected.

And I fired.

A wail ended the silence as a body crashed to the ground.

To my surprise, there was nothing after that. No shouts. No hollers. No more guns firing. Just the groans coming from the person I just shot. Even with the situation being sketchy, my curiosity powered me to check them out.

I crept out of the bushes, gun still up, and headed to the fallen body. They were rolling on the ground, holding their head. As I got closer, I saw the messy blonde hair and slim build.

"Damn it," Ky muffled into his jacket.

I should feel sorry for him. He just has no luck against me.

But Dauntless has had an effect on him. His Candor body was starting to bulk up and he didn't look like the same boy I saw on the train.

I picked his gun up off the ground and slung it behind my back.

He looked up from the ground and I saw the damage.

The left side of his face was bright red and swollen. His eye wasn't in bad shape, but a huge bruise was already starting to form across his cheekbone. The paintball didn't splatter against his skin. It must have just ricocheted off.

Instead of yelling or making some nasty remark, he smiled and shook his head. I was standing only a few feet away from him while he stood up.

"You just can't seem to get enough of me, can you?"

I smiled at him. Thank god he's okay. All I needed was another lecture from my parents regarding how I need to be more wise in my abilities and not shoot right through the scope of another initiate.

How a tiny paintball was able to break through the glass is beyond me.

"Ky?" Someone asked from around the building.

We both looked at each other. For a second, I thought he wouldn't say anything. That he'd let me go.

Holy shit was I wrong.

"They're here!" He shouted back, a huge smile on his face.

I rolled my eyes and shot him in the leg before running off. There was really nowhere else to go besides, well inside.

Shouts erupted in the air as more bodies came out of what I thought was darkness. On instinct, I shot. Aiming at every thing that came towards me. Some came from doorways in the warehouse and other were simply standing inside it.

The area was a complete open space. At least six stories high. The ceiling of the building was visible. The top floor was able to be seen because half of it was gone.

As they began to fire back, I resorted to ducking behind a crate that sat in the corner.

Bullets, or pardon me for saying balls, flew into the wall behind me. They cracked against the brick and spotted it with neon colors.

"She's behind the crate!"

The voice was close, a lot closer than it should be. Maybe 4-5 feet to my left. Taking a deep breath, I zipped my jacket up, slung my gun around my back and quickly turned from around the crate.

A flash of black was all I saw as I knocked the person's gun down and wrapped it around their own neck.

I realized the black was the person's hair.

And they were a girl by the name of Lily.

"Shit," She muttered under her breath as I held her in a grip that forced her body towards her own team shooting

"Hey Lil," I said back, hiding behind her.

She chuckled and flung her elbow back into my ribs. The pain was subtle, but enough to make me lose her gun position around her neck. Before she could get away, I moved my hand from the muzzle to the grip and lodged it into her back.

I felt her wince and I knew I did it a bit too hard.

"Sorry," I whispered under my breath.

"All's good," She whispered back.

Her teammates stopped firing, probably afraid that they were going to hit her. And the one of the worse things you could do to Lily was shoot a paintball at her face.

Once again, my body went behind hers.

The faces of everyone else was priceless. Wide eyes and open mouths. There was a lot more people down here than I thought there would be. Out of the 9 members of the team, 4 were at the ground floor. That leaves Ky and the other girl I heard outside with 3 people guarding the flag.

But, knowing Nash, he wouldn't leave 3 people guarding the flag. He's a defensive kind of guy, but he wouldn't waste 3 team members guarding a flag.

He wasn't down here though.

Where would he be?

_He's probably outside, dumbass._

That didn't sound right.

He was sneaky. Very evasive.

But, while I stood holding Lily, I sensed something. Not a chill that gave me goosebumps. Not something that would scare me and make me scream. Just that something was there. Something was behind me.

Someone.

And I knew exactly who.

I tried to be as fast as I could, but Nash was faster. When I attempted to whip my gun from Lily's back to him, he knocked it out of my hands. The room was silent as the metal skid across the concrete floor.

I bet they all thought I was screwed.

That I was terrified of a little paintball gun.

If only they knew.

My eyes met Nash's. They were the same color they were when I first saw him. Completely and utterly beautiful.

As much as I wanted to look at him in that way, I observed him. In his beautiful eyes, there was something I couldn't help by smile at.

There was amusement.

His body was at a standstill with his gun pointing at me, probably not going to do any damage. Those damn lips were tugged up on one side, only exposing at fraction of his teeth.

Amused eyes, still body, and a smirk. That meant only 2 two things: either he was a sadist or he was attracted to me at the moment.

The last one was ridiculous. There was no way this fucking Greek God boy was turned on by a 16-year-old girl with her jacket covering the little she had with her hair looking like a lion's mane.

That was unfathomable.

And yet, his expression didn't change.

Annoyed, I decided to do something.

I fired my hand towards his gun, aiming to knock it out of his hands. His other hand grabbed it before I could do my job.

I don't know what pissed me off more. The fact that I can't do anything to him or that someone is beating me at my own game.

I was distracted, for just a second, by the feeling his grip sent through my arm. The feeling quickly disappeared when I got a good look at his face again.

With the same goddamn smirk he had on before.

Remember when Lily said all the shit about him looking at me how every girl wants to be looked at? I can now say that no one deserves to be looked at the way he was looking at me now.

I guess in those weeks since I saw him in the tattoo parlor, his view on me has changed. He looks at me like I'm below him now. Like I'm little sister. A little girl.

Pathetic.

"Now now," He muttered flinging his gun around his back, allowing for both his hands to hold down my arms. "Don't get ahead of yourself,"

As much as I wanted to do something to knock him on his ass and demote him the way he just demoted me, I did the smart thing. I just went along with the plan.

"C'mon, I was thinking second base," I murmured back.

His nose twitched a bit, but he covered it by turning me around and pulling my hands behind my back. All the members of his team looked a bit surprised. Probably over the fact that he didn't shoot me.

"Well?" He told them. "Aren't you going to get a me some rope so we can find where their flag is?"

It seemed to click with everyone because they started looking everywhere for something to restrain me. This might be a bit too much for a stupid game of capture the flag, but over the past few years, things have been getting really competitive.

"Found some!" Wes came out of a room holding up a bundle of thin rope. Nothing a simple knife couldn't cut through. Ky also brought in an old metal chair that looked about as comfortable as Jackson's bed.

Nash brought me over to where Ky was setting up the torture device. I was so scared of this aluminum chair, I might freak out. I rolled my eyes at the ridiculous thought.

I expected Nash to be rough while he tied my wrists together behind my back. Probably tie them so tight, I'd have marks tomorrow.

Instead, he sat me down and walked around behind me. Ky was the only one still here, and it felt awkward just looking at him.

Déjà vu struck as Nash moved my hair to one side of my shoulder. His hand left the same heat it did when he injected me with the fear simulation.

He brought my hands together. I got chills when I felt his thumb draw circles on the inside of my wrists. I hope to God that was mindlessly. Slowly, he wrapped the rope around once, then twice and then once around the metal bar of the chair.

He stayed there for a few seconds, observing me. I got a look at Ky. He had his hands in his pockets and his head down. He looked _embarrassed_.

"You can go back outside now, Ky," Nash said as he circled back around to my sight. Ky nodded and looked at me before turning back to the entrance.

Well, that was weird.

"Finally some alone time," I said under my breath.

"Not yet," He smiled while crossing his arms on his chest. He called down the names of several Dauntless-born. All the people who were shooting at me before were now a few feet behind Nash. There guns were down as they began to watch my interrogation. "Tell me where your flag is,"

"Like I'm gonna tell you," I rolled my eyes.

"Maybe you just need some persuasion," He took his gun and pointed it directly at my chest. I snorted at his gesture.

"In case you haven't noticed, fear doesn't work on me," I said it low enough for only Nash to hear.

That lightened him a bit. He brought his gun down and tossed it to the side. Several other members were shocked by his gesture. He even shocked me when he squatted down in front of me.

"Let's make a deal," He started, looking up at me. His hair looked darker when their was no sun to glint off of it. "You tell me where your team's flag is and wherever they are in general, and I'll give you what you want,"

Want.

The word sparked a fire in my brain.

Actually, not really in my brain.

"How do you know what I want, Nash?" I raised my eyebrows as he took a step closer to me. I could touch him if I wasn't restrained.

"I know what I do to you, Theo,"

Whoa. Well then.

He stood up and put his hands on my two arm rests. Now he was extremely close to me. The smell of cedar filled my nose. Never in my life have I ever been so intoxicated by the smell of a tree. A normal reaction would be to push myself forward. Instead, relaxed my shoulders and sat like a normal human being.

"I frustrate you. Confuse you, Piss you off," His eyes scanned up my body. They lingered not on my chest, but on my lips.

I guess that's a good sign.

"But most of all," His head moved so his lips barely brushed against my ears.

God damn it.

I felt like I might combust.

Control yourself.

"I turn you on, don't I?" He whispered and I had the feeling his was enjoying himself.

Sweet fucking Jesus.

"Let's be honest here. You turn on anything with two legs and tits,"

The words spilled out before I could stop them. A laugh hitched in his throat. He went back to being a normal distance away from a person and ran his hand through his hair, laughing.

I caught a look at the members of his team. Eleanor, a Dauntless born with a huge chest and blonde hair, was bright red with embarrassment after my comment. And Wes was staring at her.

How Nash was able to say all these things in front of them, knowing how they'll react, is beyond me. He doesn't care what other people will think. He has authority over them. He can say whatever he wants.

"You being part of that group?"

I pursed my lips and thought about it.

"Sorry, but have you seen me? My chest is flatter than your personality,"

And now I have no filter.

Word vomit.

Nash whistled and I got a look at Lily. She tried to contain her laugh by covering her mouth. She raised her eyebrows at me, appalled.

"Nasty," Nash muttered under his breath. If his wasn't smiling, I would have been worried.

I almost forgot that I have a plan that is brewing.

I tried to look ambiguous as I snuck a glance at the window where Joseph and Trevor were suppose to be. I could barely see them, but I made out someone's hand gesturing me to get it on with.

I brought my heel back towards my hands as far as it would go. I flicked the switch, revealing the small blade. Nash didn't seem to notice.

"Tell me where they are," This time it was a command.

"I don't think so," I tried my best to cut through the first loop around my wrists.

"Wait a minute," I smiled at him. "Did Nash lose his game of capture the flag when he was an initiate?"

His face turned hard. I've seen this expression before, just never triggered towards me. It was menacing, obviously not to me though.

I cut through the second loop.

"What makes you think that?" He snapped, picking his gun up again.

"Well, you're so intent on winning this game that you're willing to tie a girl up in a chair and have half your team watch as you take the easy way out by interrogating her instead of looking for the flag yourself,"

His body tightened and the grip on the gun got stronger. I just had to keep this going for a few more seconds. My knife moved to the rope around the chair.

"I'd say that's pretty cowardly," I whispered, cocking my head to the side and running my tongue along my teeth.

As if on command, he brought his gun up to my chest again. But this time, there was no fun on his face. It was stone cold.

"Shoot me, Nash," I tempted him. The bullet wouldn't hurt me and if I couldn't continue playing, that wouldn't be a loss to the rest of the plan.

The room was silent.

The only thing I heard was my heart beat and Nash's breathing. Which was pretty fast for him being on the opposite side of the gun. Normally, he would be fine. Right now, his face was blank and his mouth was slightly open.

That was the first fear I recognized in Nash.

His was afraid of shooting me.

Slowly, he lowered his gun and shook his head, as if shaking away a thought. He took one more glance at me before turning around.

"We're going to win this game," He muttered to his teammates. They all nodded in unison.

"I'm not so sure about that," I interrupted. They all turned to me, showing disbelief and confusion.

Showtime.

"Hey, dipshits!"

Becca's voice rang through the warehouse. Shots went off and my team appeared through the entrance. If that's not perfect timing, I don't know what is.

"Shit!" Nash swore. Turning around to shoot me I guess, his face dropped when he saw me free. Some pieces of rope were still around my wrists, but I was successfully out. Thanks to my boots.

There are times I want to kiss the ground Christina walks on.

Nash's face incalculable. Once his gun was down, I kicked him in the side. I reached in, grabbed the gun and kicked out the back of his knees, causing them to buckle. He fell to his knees, holding his side in pain.

He fell onto his back with some of my help and I successfully held his arms down with my knees. My self-confidence skyrocketed, knowing I wasn't completely ineffective against him.

His eyes glowed when he looked at me.

And he smiled. A real smile not the fake smirk he usually had on his face.

I grabbed on of the paint balls in my pocket and rolled it between my fingers. I wasn't going to shoot him, but he wasn't losing without getting something on him.

I pressed the ball onto his jacket, letting it splatter orange on his chest.

"Got ya," I said.

Chanting brought my attention up to the top floor. Paige stood, waving the neon flag above her head in victory. A wide smile came across my face. My plan worked. Who would've thought.

I looked back down at Nash. Instead of his attention on Paige and his flag in her hand, he was just staring at me. And that was the look Lily was talking about.

"Where's your flag?" He asked.

I bit my lip and grabbed the zipper of my jacket. At first, his eyes got wide.

Conventional for a guy.

Once it was down all the way, I pulled the flag from the inside of my jacket.

"We hid it on me,"

He had the same look on his face. There was admiration, disbelief, and something else. Maybe he didn't think I was pathetic. Maybe he didn't think I was a little girl.

Maybe I was something more to him, judging by his expression now. It brought a warmth to my body. A feeling that's almost indescribable. For once, I hope that I am something more to someone.

Cause I sure as hell know he's something more to me.


	16. IMPORTANT!

Ok. So this isn't an update and I am extremely sorry for that. It's been over a month since I last updated and that's because the world wide web is full of viruses that want to screw up your computer. I'm currently using someone else's laptop that I'm borrowing saying I'm doing an English essay when really I'm writing this. I already am very disappointed in myself for my lack of writing. Hopefully my laptop will be fixed in the next few weeks, so until then, I bid you ado. I should have probably written this a while ago, but I'm a bad person.

Hey, at least I didn't leave you on a cliffhanger. That would really suck.

Also, summer and coming up and that means that school is out, thank god. But that also means that I will be gone every weekend for my various sport tournaments. Yeah. Stupid. I freaking know. Anyway, I'll have to change the day I update. But, I still don't know if I'll get my laptop by then soooooooooooo yeah.

Hate me. Go ahead. I deserve it. Until the next time I update, which I hope will be sooner than I think it is, au revoir. My next update will be really good tho. I promise. The idea has been in my head for the past month.

:)


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